Hi, I am 23, 8 weeks pregnant and scared. I have a two year old son from a previous violent relationship...

By anonymous on 12/09/2008
Hi, I am 23, 8 weeks pregnant and scared. I have a two year old son from a previous violent relationship and moved into my next relationship with caution. However, things moved rather quickly and I soon noticed my partner was not everything I thought he was. He was using drugs, which he in turn encouraged me to do and used to drink a lot too... then the arguments and violence began. Finding out I was pregnant should have been happy for me but instead I was feeling emotions of dread and bewilderment. How could I bring a baby into the world with a man who claimed to love me but abused me physically and mentally? I have had a rollercoaster of emotions: 'I can cope with this; I can do this on my own' then I change and start to panic thinking abortion is my only option to free myself of this man and his evil... but the thought of an abortion and the reality of living with the choice for the rest of my life is so scary it reduces me to tears.

I guess I’m sharing this story as I hope to help others out there contemplating abortion to think twice. It’s ok to have doubts. I change my mind a lot but I know one thing: this baby will love me. It may already love me and however tough things get or desperate I feel I know I will never be alone. We will have each other. It’s here for a reason, just like my son, to save me, a gift from God. xxx

Editor’s note: Thank you for sharing your story with us…Your circumstances are very difficult and they are obviously putting a great deal of pressure on you with regard to your pregnancy, but your heart already seems to know that your relationships with your children bring something positive into your life – something much more positive than your relationships with their respective fathers.. You seem to be asking yourself, ‘Why negate my baby for something that’s already so negative in my life?’ It sounds like it might be time for you to think about the life you want for your children, as their mother, rather than think about how your children will sustain you in these negative circumstances. Being a mother is about who we are for our children as part of our responsibility; our children cannot carry the burden of our well-being. It might be time for you think about how to take control of your life courageously. You can start by visiting your nearest pregnancy centre to talk through your situation confidentially and then seeking further help for your relationship situation. We’ll be thinking of you.

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