I don't know what to do...I found out I was pregnant three weeks ago.

By anonymous on 25/09/2008
I don't know what to do. I was with my boyfriend for just over a year and a half and we were living together for the last six months. It had been rocky recently but we were very alike. He had a son from a previous relationship whom he had idolized and we had talked about marriage and having a brother or sister for his son. I found out I was pregnant three weeks ago. He was horrified, demanded an abortion and wouldn't discuss anything else. At the time I was confused but agreed to go and make an appointment to terminate - the rejection from him of our baby was devastating.

For the next few days I hated him. He was so cold and unfeeling and I was getting more and more upset. We argued. I said I didn't want to go through with the abortion. He didn't understand how it felt. Two days later, I came home from work to find he had packed his things and left me - no note, no text and he wouldn't answer the phone and hasn’t done to this day, despite pleas from my parents.

I now face the toughest decision of my life. On one hand I have always wanted kids, not under these circumstances, but nevertheless I have never wanted a career or anything else - just to be a mum. On the other I have my own home with a mortgage in my sole name and no permanent job. (I temp.) I don't see how I can survive and not lose the home I have fought to keep over the years. I also need to consider my child - how will it feel knowing its father AND his family rejected them? Some days I wake up and I think I can do this. I can have this child and do whatever it takes and then, by the end of the day, I think everything is so uncertain. It’s not just me facing this uncertainty; it’s this little life inside me relying on me to make the right choice.

Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing your story with us…It seems you are in a turmoil of circumstances and emotion. Your boyfriend may have had mixed responses to your pregnancy – feeling powerless, not wanting the responsibility, wanting to put pressure on you for a particular outcome, and then just leaving everything. Whatever his response, you have a choice about what to do. Your circumstances weigh heavily, don’t they? The house, your work, your relationship. In your head it probably makes perfect sense not to continue with the pregnancy, but there’s another part of you that is positive towards the pregnancy. You need accurate information about all your options for the future, as well as time and space to consider all your circumstances and what is going on in your heart. There is hope and there is a way through. Support is available at your nearest pregnancy centre, through the helpline or Online Advisor. Don’t struggle with it all alone. We’ll be thinking of you.

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