My new partner is pregnant

Hi, I find myself in a very difficult situation.
My new partner of 6 months has just found out she is pregnant. She is 39 years old and had a miscarriage last year with her previous partner.
I'm still married to my ex partner, planning to get divorced in July. I have a 5 year old son who has been through hell with his parents splitting up recently.

I know we are not ready to do this

I certainly am not ready to father another child, but I also don't want to take this chance away from my partner who has decided she wants to keep the baby.
I find myself left in an awful situation.
Asking my partner to terminate the pregnancy or having a baby that I don't want.
My partner sees this as maybe her last opportunity and she seems to be making her decision based on what has happened previously which I do understand, but I think is unfair. Any advice greatly appreciated.

Editor's Comment

I can understand your shock at this unplanned pregnancy, and as you say the timing isn't great for you with a divorce coming up. However, if you push for a termination it is unlikely that your relationship will survive. Statistically, over 75% of relationships do not last when one partner wants to continue the pregnancy but feels pressurised to terminate it. So you need to decide how important your relationship is to you, and how much it might affect your partner if she terminated a pregnancy she was longing for.
I can understand your concern about your 5 year old son, and when parents separate it is going to be distressing. What he needs to know is that you and your ex partner will not stop loving him despite your separation. This will be more significant than having a new brother or sister, which most children can accept as part of their new family.
If you would like to talk this through with an advisor, or go to a centre with your partner to talk through your decision, please contact CareConfidential 0300 4000 999, or find a centre from the website.

This story was sent in on 11/04/2012

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