A miscarriage at 14 weeksBy anonymous on 02/09/2010
We were so happy when we found out we were having another baby. My son was 5yrs and we had decided it was time for another baby.
I was very scared of going to have my bloods taken as I hate needles so I dragged the doctor's visit out saying I would go next week and then the week after. I said I'd go the week after we went on holiday for a week. I was then due to see the midwife on the week we arrived back, but during the last day of my holiday I didn't feel well at all, just really tired and drained and just different. We got home and the day after I experienced some spotting.
I rang the doctor and they gave me the number for antenatal clinic at my local maternity unit. I rang them and was told to go in that evening. I was given a quick assessment, asked about my dates etc. from which they worked out I was 14 wks pregnant.
There was no heartbeatI was then given a scan which showed there was no heartbeat and I was told although the baby was developed to the stage of 14 wks it was small for dates and had not it seems been growing as he should.
I was given 2 choices either be admitted for a d and c or go home and let nature take its course.
I was devastated and went home to think about it.
Labour pains with bleedingI ended up going 3 days with the spotting continuing, and on the 3rd day I got what was like mild labour pains with bleeding. I went to the maternity unit where I stood crying in a pool of blood.
I was put on a bed and a doctor inserted a speculum and took out the remaining clots and tissue- my baby.
I was in a state of confusion through it all. I had to remain over night and was let out the next day.
I have nothing of that babyI am bitter that I didnt get a scan picture of my baby. I was in a state and I wish I could go back to ask for a picture or I wish I had been asked if I wanted one, also when the miscarriage actually took place and the doctor was cleaning me out I was never asked would I like to see. And yes I wish I'd asked very much so to see the baby.
It all seems to happen so quick and now I look back to that moment 6yrs ago and wish I had opened my mouth. I have nothing of that baby, no scan picture, no picture of saying goodbye, nothing and that hurts so much.
I keep a box and in it is the top I wore when I went to the hospital, and a piece of tissue I cried into, my hospital wristband, and a letter I wrote to my baby. nite baby blue xxxxxxxxxxx I'll never ever forget xxxxxxx