I'm 28 this is my story about my miscarriage.
In the back of our minds we remember people telling is don't tell to many people because anything can happen and the doctors saying the same thing, but even though we heard them we never thought it could happen to us.
So my fiancé was preparing for a trip to Jamaica for work when I would be about 7.5 weeks pregnant so our doctor said she would do our first sono then so he could see it before he left.
So it's the day of our first appointment and we cannot wait to see our little pea pod! We walk down to the sono room and start the sono it was a student and she asked if she could start then the technician finished so we agreed .... Everyone has to learn at some point. So the sono started and we are seeing things on the screen we aren't really sure what we are looking at but because she was a student she said here's the sac and .... Um maybe we will have to try a different angle to see the baby still we thought nothing of it .... So about 20 mins went by and still she's not showing us the baby we keep asking and she is saying things like maybe we won't see it today. I'm starting to get concerned but my fiancé is fine. Then the technician comes in and takes some more pictures and checks the students pictures, again no mention of the baby. I asked if they can find the baby and are we going to see him or her today? She's silent and says I'm not sure but I will get these reports to your doctor.
Okay now I'm feeling concerned but my fiancé reassures me everything's fine.... I'm instructed to get dressed and wait one minute so I do so. About a minute later the technician comes in and says have you had any bleeding or cramping and I said no everything has been good and she says okay leaves the room and talked to someone and then returns to say your doctor would like to see you back upstairs.
Now I'm freaking out I know something isn't right but my boyfriend is still there reassuring me everything's fine.
The doctor calls us in and tells us she thinks we have had what they call a chemical pregnancy everything has formed but the baby did not so I would be miscarrying soon. The amount of emotions that rushed through my body in that split second is insane so I just simply start to cry.
We are sent home with a one week follow up I see if anything has changed and wait to miscarry.
So fast forward through a week of hell, my boyfriend had to cancel his trip because we didn't know what would happen next and we were just sad shocked and emotional in every way possible. The day of our next sono and I still have not shown any symptoms of miscarrying and they start the sono.... This time the screen looks different to us .... Questions start racing is that a baby? Could they just not see him/her last time ? What's going on? Maybe we are that miracle? So I ask what's that and of course they can't give you straight answers because they are not the doctors all she can say is yes it does look different and we are sent home waiting for the doctor to call with results. She calls I answer and she says well this time there was a foetus .... What? we are going to have a baby runs through my mind it's all better, then the 'but' comes, the foetus has no heartbeat and the doctor says her suspicions were correct I would be losing this baby. So now we are sitting here we have prepared ourselves in the past week that we would be miscarrying but it wouldn't be an actual baby now there is a baby! Great I'm in tears, I'm a mess again and my boyfriend is just shocked and confused. The waiting starts again and two days later on a Thursday the bleeding starts and just some cramps I think oh I can do this no big deal, Friday same thing, then Saturday the bleeding and cramps are like nothing I have ever experienced before! Horrible Sunday same thing I decided to call the on call doctor they tell me to go to er to make sure I'm not losing too much blood which of course I am I'm becoming anaemic so I'm put on a high dose of iron and sent home. Monday, Tuesday same thing bleeding and nothing like what they said I should pass just bleeding so I go to my doctors we decided it's time to try a medicine that you insert vaginally to make your uterus cramp more and push it out and if it doesn't work I'm scheduled for surgery a D and C the next day.
It worked my body got it out and now it's over but I'm emotionally exhausted physically exhausted and I just want to feel normal again.... It has been two days since the miscarriage and I'm just lost.
Editor's CommentA distressing time for you particularly as this took quite a few days to unfold. I am sure you are feeling shocked and numb, and you will need to give yourselves time to grieve your loss and come to terms with what you have been through.
This story was sent in on 05/03/2015