I ask why Allah took my baby away, I really wanted him so badBy anonymous on 13/03/2015
miscarriage 12 weeks
Well, i am female, and i was seeing still am currently seeing a guy i really do care alot for. Well I was living in the same country finishing my studies and met him, we decided that we werent gna rush sex, bt i got the news that i was moving and wasnt going to see him for a long while, and so one afternoon at his house we got carried away, i felt bad bcoz i felt it was too soon, bt i realised i did love him and we shared a soul nd the fact i was leaving made it okay.
Weeks after i felt sick all the tym, bt i never took pregnancy into consideration seeing to how my period symptoms were the same, along with having an irregualr period pregnancy wasnt even something i thought of. But then it jst got worse i had bags under my eyes, pains, and nausea, one afternoon he got me frm skl we went to his house and he asked me why i looked weak and i told him “aaah probably that tym of the month”, and he asked me if i wasnt pregnant i should take a test.
I jst slipped it out of my mind, tym passed and we made love again, before i left and on my last exam.
Said my goodbyes after a few weeks my syptoms worsens and i never got my period, so i took a test bt i wasnt with him by this tym and i found out i was pregnant bt didnt knw if i wanted to tell him, it was sad becoz he was far frm mee, i was happy in a way bcoz i loved him, bt i didnt think he would want the bby so i kept it to myself till one nyt i told him, we argued, he said it wasnt his seeing to how long i took to tell him till eventually he said he understood
I wanted the bby to myself we decided to keep it, we decided on names, he would ask me everday night to kiss his son or daughter, he told me how much he couldnt wait to meet our lil creation, he told me what it meant to him he said that i wouldn never understand the joy this brings him, tym passed i was 12 weeks found out i was hvg a boy, told him we wete soo excited thought of bby names, no one knew about the bby just us,
i got bigger and he got happier he told me everyday how much he loved me and his soon to come son, he asked me and made sure i was okay even thought he wasnt threr we decuided that i should stay away longer jst so that i can study a bit more before the bby was borrn,
i cried bcoz i was going thru it alone yet he encouged me that it was gna be okay,
we planned i bought boxes of diapers he bought everything else jst clothes, bt i never knew yet, weeks i started spotting lightly bt i told him and he found out it was normal in pregnancy so we dropped it, bt the bleeding carried on with sharp pain to an extent i couldnt sit or move around alot,
i cried my self to sleep a few nights nd called him crying and he cried with me bcoz i was in pain, soon the pains lightend bt the bleeding carried on, and i found out what was happening only to find. A thick vcloth of blood
i was losing the bby all alone no 1 to cry with or at lest help me i was alone and i was so shocked i told the father and he asked if my bleeding stopped and he said he thinks we losing the bby bcoz it happend to his sister nd he assisted her!
eventuyally i was told ill bleed for the next 10 daus nd my body will still be as if i was pregnant untill it gets used to not being pregnant anymore, ive never felt such a deep ache in my life i nevr ate i lied to the father i ate i felt the need to starve and die bcoz i couldnt do the simple thing a women Should do which is carry a a bby, we were prepared for it all nd we were anout to pop the news, bt it was too late nd until today i ask why allah took my bby away, i really wanted him soo bad.