The Story of Braxtyn David Fuelling, as told by your mommy

By Ashley

miscarriage 11 weeks

During the week of July 20th, your daddy and I participated in Vacation Bible School at Churubusco United Methodist Church. Each day, I prayed to have a baby boy. I was partially kidding since we were not even trying to conceive. That week, I was expecting my period, yet, no period came.

On Sunday, July 26th, 2015 we took a pregnancy test and the test was positive. I could not help myself but be so extremely excited!

The next morning, we did a second test. Yet again, it was positive. I think this was when daddy began to become excited. Throughout the week, we got to work planning a reveal.

On Thursday, July 30th, we took Grandma Kristi, Grandma Sheri, and Grandma and Grandpa Fuelling to Olive Garden to tell them the big news. They were thrilled! We gave Grandma Carrie a "countdown to baby" and she loved it! After dinner, we drove to Noblesville to tell Great Grandma Nicholls! She was very excited too!

All who heard about your expected arrival were very happy and excited. We took pictures with your first pair of jeans and posted a big reveal on Facebook! Friends and family near and far were very excited for us.

On August 11th, I had my first appointment. We got confirmation of pregnancy, and mommy got her blood work done. I blacked out! But it was all worth it for you, Baby Braxtyn.

On August 13th, we had our first ultrasound and we saw and heard your little heartbeat! I cried because it all suddenly became very real to me.

On August 15th, I was considered 8 weeks pregnant. Sadly, and unbeknownst to us at this time, this is all the further you would develop.

On my 20th birthday, August 26th, I thought about how you were the only birthday present I needed this year.

On August 29th, I noticed some spotting and immediately started worrying. I was crying, and I was so sad. I read online that some bleeding was normal, but this did not seem like just anything to me. Call it a mother’s instinct, I guess.

That Monday, August 31st, I went to the doctors. The midwife tried to send me home, telling me I was fine but I insisted on having an ultrasound to be sure. My heart broke when the ultrasound technician left the room and came back with a doctor who I had never met before, telling me that you had no heartbeat and that you had stopped developing at 8 weeks and 3 days (FYI- I have never been told before that you were a boy, I just know it!).

Today, September 5th, at 6:01 a.m., I "gave birth" to you. That is not quite the right term, though, because you never got the chance to live. I am glad I was lucky enough to see you. We plan on buying a nice box to put you in, along with some of your memories and bury you at our new house.

Say "Hi" to Grandpa Steve for me, for you are named after him and he will take good care of you.

Although we only knew of your existence for just over a month, we love you, Baby Braxtyn, and you will forever be in our hearts.

Ashley sent this story in on 06/09/2015

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