MISCARRIED ON THE DAY OF ABORTIONBy anonymous on 24/01/2010
MISCARRIED ON THE DAY OF ABORTION I lost a child to a terminal illness last year. It was just too soon. I was on the pill but must have missed one. Anyway, I really regret getting into the situation in the first place, but I don't regret any decision at all. It was completely the right thing to do. I'm 28 now and the fetus was 8 weeks. The most important thing I'd like to share is that I booked in for an abortion, and on the day of the abortion I felt that something wasn't right. I'd had a few stomach cramps and thought that if I'd miscarried already I really wanted to know, because then I'd feel less responsible. I told the staff and they said if I hadn't bled it was very unlikely, but I insisted on another scan. They said that I might lose my place in the queue (7 other women waiting) but I said I had to know. When they scanned me, there was no heart beat. There had been a heart beat the week before at my scan (7 weeks) but the scan showed growth to 7 weeks and 6 days, so it had happened either that day or the night before. I was so relieved to know this before the procedure. I still went through the vacuum aspiration because they said that they would empty the miscarriage and it would be less painful than passing it at home. I'm just wondering how many women may have gone through an abortion but may have actually already miscarried. It's quite common to miscarry and not pass blood for even around 4 weeks after the heart beat has stopped. Considering the first three months are the most likely time for a miscarriage to occur, I think women should be scanned on the day of abortion, because even if 1 in 100 have miscarried, that's 1 in a 100 people who can feel a lot better about things, and can realise that it passed naturally. The actual procedure was fine by the way. I spent weeks worrying about which procedure to have and which was going to be less painful, less intrusive etc. I was put to sleep and woke up and it was all over. I had a few minor period pains on the way home and that was that. I realise everyone's experience is different, but for me, I think I worried more than I needed to (although I think the knowledge that it had already miscarried made me more relaxed).
You are obviously someone that knows your own body well and are very aware of what is happening to you. I am glad you had the courage to insist on another scan when the staff were reluctant to agree. It is interesting that although you were sure of your decision, the sense of responsibility for what you were doing was still heavy, and having a miscarriage lightened that burden. It may be that you will still feel a sense of grief and loss for the fetus you were carrying.