Our little boy had died inside me

I became pregnant in September 2008 after just being made redundant from my job of 5yrs...earlier in the year my mum had passed away suddenly so a dreadful time all in all...
I was 39 at the time and my partner was 42 and had 2 months left in the Army..he of course was ecstatic and I was frightened...first time mum at 39 Scary....

After counselling I wanted the baby

I had some fantastic counselling from Cedar oak and decided that I wanted the baby and the pregnancy progressed text book, no problems what so ever until I hit 31wks. I attended a midwives appt and she could not locate the heartbeat so my partner and I attended the hospital for an emergency scan where we were told our little boy had died inside me.....devastating and soul destroying...can't describe the feelings of total uselessness and failure....
3 months later we had the PM results which showed nothing baby was fine and I was healthy...worse really...I again had more sessions of counselling which really did help along with help from the doctor...I miss Alexander everyday and hope things will get better....but without Cedar Oak I wouldnt be here now!!

Editor's Comment

Thank you so much for sharing this very sad story. What a terrible loss so late in your pregnancy. I am sure your grief must have been overwhelming along with the end of so many hopes and dreams. Thankfully you were able to get help and support at the Cedar Oak centre.

This story was sent in on 07/04/2010

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