I am refusing to have the baby terminated

I am currently 8 months off of being 16.
I recently went to a friends 18th and I drank a lot of alcohol in a small time period. I was so drunk, that I passed out on my boyfriend beside a fire. My friends attempted to move me, and I slipped from their grip and fell into the fire. They then carried me to bed. I was passed out for a 6 hour time period and I remember nothing during that time period.
That party was over a month ago. And since that party, I have not had my period and I am showing many other symptoms of being pregnant.
I have not yet taken a test but I am booking a doctor's appointment because I want a definite answer.
I spoke to everybody that was at that party to find out who was in the room with me in the 6 hours that I was unconscious, and I kind of have a feeling it was one of my closest friends, Justin.
I spoke to my boyfriend and told him that if I am pregnant, I am refusing to have the baby terminated as it is my fault for consuming the alcohol the way I did.

He is being 100% supportive of me and is ready to put his life on hold to have a part in the child's life.

I told my bestfriend and mum also. It's so reassuring knowing that my family, friends and boyfriend will be there to support me all the way through this.
I have so much on the line and I don't want to give up my education. I don't want to put the child up for adoption, and definitely not foster care as many kids are abused there.
I want to take up home schooling, get a job, stop going out, getting drunk, doing drugs and what not. The one thing I will not do is ruin this child's life.
This is probably going to be a very stressful pregnancy as my mum has been sentenced to jail for just over a year. I'm moving into my bestfriend's place and I need to pull my act together. I am so scared, anxious and worried. I just need someone to talk to about this. I can't keep bottling up emotions, it's not healthy..

Editor's Comment

You and your boyfriend are amazingly positive after such an experience, because what you described amounted to rape when you had passed out. You are facing your possible pregnancy in a very mature and thoughtful way and I admire your courage. There may be a pregnancy centre close to you where the advisors would be more than happy to support you. Check out the centres on the website or call the national helpline on 0300 4000 999. There is also an Online counselling service.

This story was sent in on 11/04/2012

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