I am 17 and 10 weeks pregnant

I am 17 and 10 weeks pregnant. I found out last week, two pregnancy tests came out positive. I told my boyfriend and we both agreed to have it aborted.
My boyfriend feels horrible and I do too. Today I went to get an ultra sound and a blood test. Seeing a little human being inside of me was unreal. I could see it moving, I could see its little hand.. I stared at it for a few seconds.

How I wish I'd be able to hold that hand someday...

I started thinking of what he/she might look like and wondering if they would be more like their father or more like me. After seeing them I wanted to just runaway somewhere and have them. They looked so adorable and tiny.
I'm going to continue with the abortion, but I know the memory will always haunt me.
I find myself humming to the 'baby'.. If only now was the right time. But it's not, sadly. I know my child is unborn, but I can't help but be attached to it. I know someday I will be a great mother, and the next time I'm pregnant I'll be SO happy knowing that I'll be in the right situation to keep it.

Editor's Comment

This is going to be a difficult experience for you having seen the scan pictures. I can understand your thoughts about being too young and not having a home and stability to offer a baby.
It is also important to think about your own feelings and how it will affect you emotionally to have an abortion, or to continue the pregnancy. Having peace of mind about your decision, and not feeling guilt or regret, is important as this will be how your heart is feeling rather than just what your head is telling you. If you would like to talk through your decision before you have the abortion please contact the national helpline 0300 4000 999, or login to Online advisor. If you are happy with your decision but need post abortion help or support this is available from the helpline or Online, as well as centres around the country.

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