I was only fourteen and had been anorexic for quite a while and then suddenly I got a boyfriend from having fun and going out with my mates.

I was only fourteen and had been anorexic for quite a while and then suddenly I got a boyfriend from having fun and going out with my mates. I was drunk one night and slept with him. I thought nothing of it. The next period was due and I missed it so I decided to take a pregnancy test just to be on the safe side. I was worried and scared. I didn’t know what to expect. I did it and it came back positive. I kept doing them; I wanted to believe it was negative but that didn’t happen. My boyfriend wanted me to keep it. There was no way I was going to keep it. I was fourteen. Then I got rid of it, we split up and I became even worse with my anorexia. I wish I did keep it because now I can’t have children. I see people walking down the street and I can’t bear watching them. It breaks my heart. Editor’s note: Thanks for sharing your story…It sounds as if you have had difficult teenage years, facing both anorexia and an abortion experience. It isn’t surprising that you suffered further problems with anorexia after the abortion, as many women suffer emotionally afterwards in a way they do not expect, even though it seemed like the right decision at the time. You seem to be suffering with regret, especially when reminded of your loss by seeing other children. If you have any psychological support at the moment, then this is an issue that you need to talk about. If you don’t have any, then perhaps it would help you to find support at your nearest centre or by using Online Advisor so that you can begin to find healing.

This story was sent in on 31/10/2008

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