I was 17 when I first found out I was pregnant
I also had a second abortion at the start of September this year. I might sound very harsh in saying this, but I don't regret or have the same feelings towards this one as my first. Maybe because I knew I didn't want to keep the baby as it was very close to me starting university. But that isn't to say I didn't shed a tear and in this case I kept it from my Mum and went alone with the father who wasn't at all bothered. I originally wanted a surgical abortion but the clinic got things wrong and because I was moving within a week, I had to opt for the medical abortion. This was not for me but I had no choice. I didn't know what to expect but not long after taking the second tablet I was in a lot of pain. Having a medical abortion almost brought things home for me, because I was actually going through the whole thing. I did feel sad about it, but knowing I had to do it, and being older and more mature, I coped much better. I am doing well at university so far and I am somewhat happy about my decisions as I love my life and I am enjoying being a typical 19-year-old.
Thanks for sharing your story with us. It sounds like you have been through some very difficult times during last couple of years. It is always important that the decision to have an abortion is your own. Having other people pressurise or influence you in any way can lead you to make a decision you may later regret. Decisions made at times like these affect people afterwards in different ways. You express experiencing a lot of emotional pain, before, during and after the first abortion.
It must have been very difficult for you not having the supportive response you had so wanted, hoped for and needed from your Mum. Perhaps it was difficult for her because she had been through a similar experience? You wanted to continue with the pregnancy, but you say you could only have done so with her support. During this time, you also went through what appears to have been a very traumatic break-up. I am concerned that you are expressing deep feelings of regret mainly with the first, but also with the second abortion, even though you felt at the time that it was the right thing to do. It may help speaking to one of our advisors to help you work through some of the things that have been affecting you. If you feel that you would like to, I would encourage you to call the national helpline on 0300 4000 999 – our advisors are experienced and will be able to help you.