She randomly texts me "I'm pregnant, I hate you"

By anonymous on 30/05/2013
I met this girl on facebook, 2 January 2013, we started chatting a lot, we "fell in love", things were so amazing, it felt so real. Long distance relationship.

We finally met on the 3rd of February, we chilled together, had lunch, did some recreational activities and eventually had sex. Biggest mistake; I didn't use a condom, she didn't ask for a condom and she was on her period (...brbrbrbb I know) but we did it...Immediately after sex, I came back to my senses after cumming inside of her.

I asked her to come with me to get morning after pills, she's a student in some medical field, she started telling me about the possibilities of not being pregnant using all these medical terms (I believed, it made sense) I proceeded checking up on her a few days after through BBM, she assured me she's fine. We eventually broke up, as I fixed things with my ex. Weeks go by, I see she's over me and found a new boyfriend (I'm happy for her)

We never really chat anymore - even thou we have each other on BBM. After 14 weeks after our meeting and not actively chatting, she randomly texts me "I'm pregnant, I hate you" and she deletes me from her BBM and blocks me. I quickly proceed to facebook and ask her "what?" She tells me she's pregnant, she sends me pictures of "her" belly (its grown), she sends sonar scans...I'm shocked...devastated...she re-invites me on BBM...her statuses after 14 weeks are now all about pregnancy, she has craving statuses etc.

I ask her to do a paternity test, she refuses to see me, meet up with me and do a "stupid" paternity test.

I manage to chat to her to do an abortion, because as I had told her before, I am not ready for a baby, I can't afford a baby (financial constraints) and I'm only 20, she's 19.

She tells me "You won't have to be in our life, we don't need you! I hate" and such comments. She finally agrees to do an abortion which costs (R4000) I get a personal loan (high interest rate) I get the money. Now she doesn't want to do the abortion because "I'm in love with the baby, I can't do it anymore" and "I won't tell my parents about you! Yore dead to me" and then changes to "I'm giving it up for abortion then"

Am I wrong for not wanting a baby? She's 14 weeks pregnant and she claims she didn't know she was pregnant all the time...I asked her why she was quiet about it...

Editor's Comment

This sounds a very strange set of events. It is true that you can get pregnant at any time but very unlikely when your girlfriend was having her period. She would have had to ovulate within about 6 days and most women don't ovulate so soon unless they have a very short cycle. It is also very unusual to be showing at 14 weeks. Usually the pregnancy bump appears about 18 - 20 weeks. It is going to be difficult for you to be sure how reliable all this information is with the relationship being so uncertain. It may be worth you trying to meet up again to have a proper conversation rather than trying to talk such critical things through on BBM and Facebook.

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