I got my dream job and now I have an unplanned pregnancy

Hi I am a very happily married 24yr old woman with 3 gorgeous kids, boy 15, girl 10, boy 6 and a great husband.
All our married life we have constantly struggled to make ends meet and never had enough money at the end of the month for savings.
2 years ago my husband got a great job earning triple the wages as he was previously getting. We have each got a new car, appliances, gone on great holidays and are saving up to buy our first home in the next few months. A few months ago I got my dream job working in the field I've always dreamed about and earning fantastic money.
Here's the catch, 2 weeks ago I found out that I was pregnant and we don't know what to do. Just when we thought we had it all this has just stopped us in our tracks.
We aren't sure how far along I am and can't have an ultrasound for another week.
I was thinking that if I wasn't too far along that I might terminate but I don't know if I can go through with it. My husband isn't sure what we should do but he's being very supportive.
I know that no one can make the decision for us but I would love any advice and I'd like any opinions from families that have ever been in the same situation.

Editor's Comment

It sounds like quite a shock for you both and perhaps fear that all you are now achieving could disappear, and you could be back to struggling again.
You have 3 choices. You can choose to end the pregnancy and it sounds as though this in an option you have considered. What you need to think through about this choice is how you feel about abortion for you personally. This is not whether in principle it is something you agree with or not, but whether you personally feel it is something you can go through now.
Secondly you need to try and think about the future and how you would feel if you choose this option. Would you always be thinking how old the child would be, how it would have been a part of your family, or would you be able to put it behind you and get on with your life.
Finally, you have to accept that whatever you choose at this point your lives won't go back to the way they were. Ending a pregnancy doesn't rub out a mistake, it will change your lives in some way. Another choice would be to consider adoption but I would imagine that if you continued the pregnancy that would be a difficult option to think about, although you should always look at all your choices.
Finally, you can decide to carry on with the pregnancy. It might help you to look at support networks and childcare to see if you could continue with your job after maternity leave.
If you would like to talk this through with a trained advisor you can call the national helpline on 0300 4000 999, write to Online advisor, or look to see if there is a pregnancy centre in your area find a centre for crisis pregnancy support in your area.

This story was sent in on 14/08/2010

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