I had a surgical abortion under local anaesthetic
I have been with my partner for almost 10 years, even though I am only 25. I found out I was pregnant as my periods are very regular, and when I realised they were a few days late, deep down I knew what that meant. When I did the test, there was a tiny bit, deep down that was excited.
My partner works away from home, so when we got the chance to talk, I told him I was pregnant. His first reaction was shock, then we talked and decided, because we have not been getting on well recently, we have some debt and we also have a beautiful, special and wonderful 2 year old that this pregnancy would put too much stress and strain on the family.
We decided on abortion.It all happened quite quickly. I had a test with my GP to confirm what I already knew. A week later I was booked in for a scan, but because I was only 4 weeks gone, they could not see anything.
I had to go back a week later for another scan, which they were happy with, and, a week later (today) I had my abortion.
I decided to go for the surgical abortion under local anaesthetic.Because I have a young child at home. I arrived at the hospital at 8am, was booked in, changed into my gown and sat and thought for a while. At 11am I was told it was my turn and wheeled into the operating room. There were several nurses (I think 6) which I did not expect. A lovely lady came and held my hand and stroked my hair, which was very comforting.
By this point my heart was breaking with the realisation of what was going on. My legs were in stirrups and the lady injected my cervix with 3 injections of anaesthetic.
I have to be honest, and say that in my experience it was VERY painful. She then went on and evacuated the pregnancy, this felt like painful period cramps. I must admit, the whole thing was quite painful, but I have read lots of stories where the woman didn't feel much at all, so please don't let this put you off.
I was wheeled into the recovery room, where my BP and temp was taken, I was only there for about 5 minutes then I was back on the ward. I think the whole thing took about 15 mins, but felt like a complete lifetime. When I got back to the ward, my BP and temp were taken again. I was given 2 paracetamol and 2 anti-biotics and asked if I was ready to be dressed. I felt a bit sore, like heavy period cramping, but got up and got dressed. I just wanted home to see my child ASAP. Within 30 minutes of being operated on I was walking out of the hospital.
I do not regret the choice I madeI wish that I had never been in the situation to have to make this choice, but I do not regret the choice that I have made. I do not feel that I could give that child, or the one I already have the best quality of life. Don't get me wrong, I have cried, shouted, blamed my partner for all this but I feel this is normal emotions for a woman to feel and I think you have to let yourself feel these and not supress them. Right now, 7 hours later, I'm a little bit sore and I'm sad that I had to terminate a pregnancy which in other circumstances me and my partner would have loved. I think it has made it harder for me, having a child already, and knowing what could be......but right now I can't allow myself to think like that.
Editor's CommentThank you for sharing your experience so soon after the procedure. It makes it feel very real and immediate.
It is helpful to be reminded that no contraception is 100% effective, and many clinics advise pill and condoms to give extra protection and prevention of STI's.
You were brave to choose to have your abortion while you were awake, and it must have been difficult being so aware of what was happening to you. I am sure you will go through a lot of different emotions like sadness,and anger as you come to terms with what has happened. It is better not to suppress those feelings but to acknowledge them as a real and valid response to what you have been through. If you feel you would like more help or support, or just a listening ear, please contact our national helpline 0300 4000 999, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area. a>
This story was sent in on 01/09/2010