A surgical abortion 6 months ago
I didn't realise I was pregnant until I started being really sick and felt so tired. I did a pregnancy test on the Monday dinner, and it came back positive. So I phoned my boyfriend at the time, and he came round that night. I was so scared and I didn't know what to do, he was so calm and asked what I wanted to do, I didn't want to answer him, I didn't have a clue what I wanted to do, so I told him I didn't know and I didn't think I wanted to keep it.
And he said he thought that was the right thing to do and he would sort it out. So we went to the doctors the next day to find out there was a 6 week waiting list for a termination on the NHS, so he booked privately for the Friday.
I told him I wasn't sure I was doing the right thingFor them three days I contemplated whether I was doing the right thing, and on numerous occasions I told him I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing, and that I wanted to keep the little baby.
And he told me 'don't be daft do you really think you would be able to bring a baby up, do you really want to be one of those single parents?' (He obviously didn't want to stick around). I felt I had no choice, he was right I would struggle alone, and so I went through with the procedure. I had an abortion under a general anaesthetic, and when I woke up, I knew I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I cried my eyes out, it hurt emotionally so much.
The nurses were good and calmed me down. He looked after me, and stayed with me that night, but anytime I tried to talk to him about it after, he has said he doesn't understand why I am upset we did the right thing, and it's done now so forget it. I wish it was that simple, I wish I knew how to put it behind me but I don't.