A muslim girl who had an abortion

I had an abortion in July 2010. I regret it terribly. When I came to know I was pregnant; it was a Friday; I could not believe it. As I told this my boyfriend, he told me that the next day, we will go to a doctor and get rid of it.

How could he say GET RID!?!

I was still thinking what was happening. I did not talk to him until Sunday. I kept crying; thinking how my baby is, should I do the abortion or not?!!
On Monday morning, I met my boyfriend and went to the doctor who made an ultrasound where I saw the dot (MY BABY) and could hear him. I was given an appointment for the next day.
On Tuesday morning, I met my boyfriend and we drove to the clinic where I made some tests before the operation. I was asked to undress and put on a white cloth. I then laid on the table and was taken to the Operation room. I was exactly 2 months pregnant. I can't forget it. It happened so quickly; I was asleep and after about half an hour; the procedure was over. My baby was goneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, dead, never come back ever.........

I regret it until now and think it's the worst thing a woman can go through

After that, I left my boyfriend as I changed; I could not see him anymore, everytime I met him, I was remembering how he did not care for MY BABY!!!! Being a muslim girl, my parents thinking am virgin are looking for a guy to get married. I am not yet over this abortion. I wonder how I will be able to appear like a virgin on my first wedding night!!!?!!!

Editor's Comment

It sounds as though your boyfriend made the decision for you and that you felt as though you didn't have a voice to say what you wanted. It sounds a very painful experience for you. Your culture requires that girls are virgins when they marry, but it seems as though your boyfriend was happy to sleep with you before marriage. I wonder if he will expect to marry a virgin? If you feel that you need some more help and support there are 3 options. You can call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.

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