Medical abortion was unavailable - I'm 35 and smoke more than 10 a day so had a surgical abortion
Hello Ladies, I am writing this as I want to tell someone what I've been through, if it helps someone else then that would be a comfort to me.
I had a surgical abortion today
I'll start by saying this was a pregnancy that came about whilst on the rebound really, I am married but have been sort of seperated from my husband for the last 3 months in that time I met a man, that seemed very nice I went out with him a few times and we had a few too many drinks on one such occassion and we had unprotected sex.
I fell pregnant, to say I was shocked is an understatement because I thought I couldn't have children as my husband and I had been trying for 9 yrs with no joy, so I'd got used to the idea that I have 1 son and that's that.
So finding myself pregnant I was shocked and petrified because I really hardly knew the father
He was supportive and said he was happy for me to go ahead with the pregnancy. I think he'd really started to fall for me, but the feeling wasn't mutual, I had no feelings for him at all, and actually I was and am missing my husband!
I was in turmoil for a couple of weeks trying to decide what I was going to do. I halfheartedly made the decision to go ahead with an abortion so booked myself in.
Today was the day I had the treatment, I feel sorry for the life I didn't allow to live.
I wish my circumstances could have been different so that I felt more able to cope with a baby, but I knew I really couldn't have a baby with a man I hardly knew and nearly no support around me.
It's been the hardest decision I've ever had to make
I haven't stopped crying since I found out I was pregnant. I can't advise anyone who may be going through this, all I can say is I really do understand how awful this all is, I know the pain of indecision and the pain of abortion.
My heart goes out to anyone who is going through this, it's been the hardest thing for me.
This story was sent in on 22/02/2011