I had an abortion a year ago. Everyday I imagine my child’s face looking down at me and asking, ‘why me?’

I had an abortion a year ago. Everyday I imagine my child’s face looking down at me and asking, ‘why me?’ My husband said it was the practical thing to do as we were getting married and moving house that year. I agreed as I did not want to let him or my family down. Instead I’ve let myself down completely. Slowly I began to hate my husband for what had happened and because I had no one to talk to as he wanted us to keep it private. My love for him has turned to hatred and subsequently led me to run into someone else’s arms. It has all got too much now and I have left my husband, not for this other person, but because I need space to understand myself and my future with my husband. I’m on antidepressants to calm my so-called crazy outbursts and really want to sort myself out. Editor’s note: Thank you for telling us your story. It seems that you have a great deal going on inside of you; feelings that you are struggling to understand and keep under control. Space may help but it won’t be enough for you to unravel your response to what has happened. You would benefit greatly from talking to an experienced advisor who can help you come to terms with the emotional aspects of your abortion, and help you understand what has happened between you and your husband. Most of all, you will have the opportunity to be at peace with yourself again. Contact your nearest centre, ring the helpline or use Online Advisor to find out more. There is hope.
This story was sent in on 11/05/2007

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