A medical abortion at 28

I am 28 years old and already have 2 children from a previous relationship. When I met a new partner he told me he could not have children, however I still remained on the pill.
Three months past and I was 4 days late and just knew I was pregnant. I was so anti-abortion before this! I had mixed feelings whether I should keep the baby and being a single mum of two I knew I could cope.....however I was in my final year at university.

I spoke to my partner and he made it clear he did not want the baby.

So I booked a doctor's appointment and before it became clear I was due to have the abortion pill. My belly was growing bigger and I could not help but lay there at night rubbing and speaking to my stomach. The staff were lovely and so helpful and not judgemental. I took the first pill and felt nothing, I returned the next day and took the next set of tablets.
The next day was horrible! I can only describle it as a nightmare. I felt so ill but the worse part (as horrific as it sounds) was sitting on the toilet crying and a large lump fell out of me! I was in tears! I had hardly any support from my partner and was too ashamed to tell anyone! 8 months on I sit here and feel so upset about what I did, I don't think I will ever get over it and it haunts me everyday!

Editor's Comment

It sounds as though you were swept into the abortion process without having any independent counselling to think through your decision, and the consequences of of your choice. If you previously felt that you were anti-abortion, then going through this experience will have gone against your core beliefs and values. This will be where your pain is coming from. I would encoursge you to seek help so that you can work through these painful emotions. You can call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.

This story was sent in on 30/10/2011

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