An abortion at 42

At 42 years old I found out I was approx 9 weeks pregnant, later confirmed by ultrasound. The family doctor I went to did not advise on abortion and I strongly felt his view.
I was referred to a midwife who took all my details. Later I told the midwife I was considering abortion, she then said I required a referral from my GP (who was strongly against abortion). I finally got the referral phone number from my doctor's nurse, no name, just the phone number.
I think it was terrible that I had to feel another persons view and all I wanted was support of my view.

Had someone given support it may have changed my mind.

The essential decision for me was the lack of support and all this was doing was proving it. I am married with 3 children, 23 - 16. We had one wage coming in, I felt completely drained of energy from feeling so sick, in fact I think I was dehydrated from the amount of morning sickness. I only wish I never had morning sick.
The morning of the abortion, before taking the two tablets to soften your cervix I turned to my husband and asked if he was okay and was he alright with it, he said "yes". I only wish he had said "no darling lets go home" and today I would not be writing this. The scary fact is, it is ultimately your decision. Do not depend on anyone else making that decision. Men do not respond well to making a decision on the matter. I regret my decision but I cannot waste anymore energy on yesterday for it will be a waste... I want women to know though that it is a decision to live with for the rest of your life. It takes courage and strength, my decision was made with goodness and not badness. "Ella" - the bright light

Editor's Comment

It is very sad that you felt so alone and unsupported as you were making your decision,as well as feeling so sick. The role of CareConfidential advisors is to listen, care and support women like you who need time and space, as well as accurate information during this crisis time. I think that sometimes when information is witheld it can cause a panic decision because you fear that door may not be open for you.
What I would say is that giving some time and energy to working through your grief can bring you peace of mind, and release you from continually trying to bury your feelings. In the long run investing in post abortion recovery can release time and energy which is otherwise used up in struggling with emotions going on under the surface. If you would like post abortion support please contact CareConfidential. You can call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.

This story was sent in on 12/12/2011

Previous/next story

Feelings of guilt, regret and pain over her abortion

« Previous story
I had an abortion and hate my life & most importantly myself

The only thing on my mind was abortion, I should've listened…

Next story »

Free help & support

If you're struggling through a situation similar to this Abortion story, or have been affected by issues in the past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

Get free, sensitive & confidential help at your nearest centre

Tell your story

Telling your story to others can be difficult but rewarding and you may just help somebody going through the same thing:

Tell your story »

Story Categories

Click below for stories in other categories: