You're not alone
In 2010 I fell pregnant with my at the time partner's baby, it was a bit of a shock but at the same time I was quite happy.
I was buying baby things online and everything seemed great, then one day my ex turned on me and from that day on he was very controlling and violent and played mind games with me. It even got to the point he would take my phone battery out at night so I couldn't text people. He wouldn't even allow my mum to come to the first baby scan and I ended up losing all my friends.
In the end I had to actually sneak out and go live with my mum again, it got pretty scary and all the time I was carrying his child. I was around 24 weeks pregnant and he came to my mum's knowing she was out somehow and he was bashing on the door trying to get in and started screaming for me to let him in. I ended up ringing my only friend who's been my friend since I was ? and she had to drive round to my house with her child in the back to scare him off.
On that night I made the decision I cannot bring a child into the world knowing that I would always have a connection with him and also that I didn't want my baby to grow up without a dad or with a dad like that. I know how that feels.
I never really understood how I felt about abortion till I made that decision but honestly if you're not ready in your mind to have a baby I believe it's the best thing for you and the baby.
Never feel alone in all this, it might seem like you are but thousands of us have had to do it for some reason.
I didn't even tell any of my friends or family because I was too scared of what they would think. The only person that knows is my mum, there are always people online to help with these things and I found alot of sites with advice and things about it so I didn't feel alone.