I just found out I am pregnant. I am 27, have just started my career, bought a flat...

By anonymous on 15/06/2007
I just found out I am pregnant. I am 27, have just started my career, bought a flat and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the last 6 months. Our relationship hasn't been going that well lately, and then we realised that I am pregnant. He doesn't want a baby, neither do I really. I am just not in the right place in my life right now.

Today, I have my scan to determine how far along I am and to discuss options for termination. I think this is what I want, termination. Yet, I am feeling as if I am letting myself down. I am confused, sad and scared as to what is going to happen to me and what I am doing to my body. I am scared that I will make the wrong decision and that I end up hating myself for the rest of my life. I am scared that I will end up an emotional wreck and won't be my old self.

I didn't realise that when I decided to have a termination that it is not just a termination. It is so much more. And I wish, somehow, my boyfriend could understand how I feel. All he thinks is that it is a couple of tablets and that's it. He doesn't understand the emotional trauma I am going through. And I am glad that there are groups out there who can help me, because I can't go through this on my own.

Editor’s note: Thanks for writing in…you seem to have made up your mind about termination, but you also seem to be aware of something vague that is making you feel uncomfortable about it. There could be a variety of reasons for this and I feel it’s very important that you have some time to think it through. In your head, termination may make sense to you in terms of your circumstances and future plans, but it seems there is something going on in at a deeper level that needs more exploration.

Before you take any action, it would be very useful for you to speak to a trained advisor who could help you think through these deeper issues, enabling you to make an informed decision about your pregnancy rather than one based simply on your circumstances and one that doesn’t take you into account as a whole person – an emotional, physical, spiritual and intellectual person with conscience, instinct and beliefs. Call the helpline or visit your nearest centre for confidential and sympathetic support.

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