I was eighteen years old when I found out I was pregnant.

I was eighteen years old when I found out I was pregnant. I was actually excited to be pregnant, despite my age. My fiance was seventeen at the time, and he was scared for us. We went to talk to his parents, and his mom immediately tried to usher me onto the abortion bus. She kept telling me not to tell my mom about what was going on, because she was afraid my mom would change what she had already decided for me.

I never ever wanted to get an abortion, and I was tormented when his mom would only talk about abortion. I was definitely not going the route of adoption, I would rather just have my own child with me, and I was planning on keeping the baby when I told him I was pregnant. Though, once his mom started talking to him about abortion, he started to agree with her on that I should get an abortion, and I was pressured not to tell my mom by his mom.

His mom didn't want me ruining his life this young with a baby

However, that was what she was doing to me, ruining my life. They told my mom I was going to stay with her because she was going to get tested for several things when literally, they were driving me to get an abortion.

Once there, I was an emotional turmoil inside, but I displayed nothing outside. When I got the ultrasound, I cried, knowing what I was doing, what I was forced to do.

When it was over, his parents acted like nothing had happened at all, shopping at Fry's and looking at electronics. My mom found out I was back in town when I was suppose to still be in another city, and all hell broke lose when she found out what had happened. My dad and mom were disappointed I didn't go to them, but they will never forgive what his mom did to them and me.

Now, more than a year later, my fiance[we're still together, despite everything and I don't blame him] regrets deeply what had happened, he also claims his mom is sorry, but I don't believe she is. I don't think I could ever forgive her for what she did. He doesn't understand the full extent of how I feel, or what is wrong with me. I severely miss my little baby and wish I hadn't been forced into it.

Editor's Comment

It is the worst situation to be pressurised and feel that you are powerless to stand up for yourself. At 18 you were still very young, and probably found it hard to speak up for yourself, or say what you really wanted. Although your fiance's Mum probably felt she was doing this for the best, it was wrong to take the decision out of your hands. I am sorry that you are both left with regret about how this was handled, and the loss you have experienced. You can call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.

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