I'm 17 and had an abortion on the 22nd of May.

By anonymous on 13/07/2012
I'm 17 and had an abortion on the 22nd of May.
I had been with my boyfriend for 2 months when I found out I was pregnant. We had been sleeping together before we got together, so by the time I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant.
We had only not used anything 2 times and them times were enough for it to happen.
I went to the doctor's on my own when I had done my test and my first reaction was abortion. I cried non stop and just didn't know what to do, I was so confused and scared.
By this point me and my boyfriend had broken up but I phoned him straight away and he told me how he was going to be there no matter what. Days later I hadn't heard from my ex and text him asking if he even cared about how I was feeling.

He was so selfish and told me I was selfish and horrible if I even thought of keeping it.

Even though all this happened he came with me for my check up with the nurse just to make sure I was definite about the abortion and I had the scan. I just couldn't look because I knew at this point I wanted to keep my baby. I had grown to love it and have an emotional connection with it, but my ex didn't understand that.
A few days later I explained how I was thinking about keeping the baby but he wouldn't listen, and made me feel like I had to have this abortion, so we went to the hospital on the day of the abortion.
I felt so alone because I wasn't allowed anyone with me before I went down. I finally went down to theatre at half 9 and they put me to sleep. When I woke up all I did was cry, I straight away regretted it and I have ever since.
My baby would have been born in December and that's all I ever think about. Before you have an abortion you really need to think about it and think about how your going to feel after because it isn't easy.

Editor's Comment

It sounds as though your ex was determined that you should go ahead with abortion even when you started having doubts and wanted to change your mind. It is hard to stand up to someone who is pressurising you especially when you were feeling confused and scared. It is sad that you did not find a pregnancy centre to talk through the options with you and think about your decision.
It may help you to have some post abortion counselling now to try and make sense of what has happened to you, and process some of these painful emotions.You can call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.

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