An abortion 4 weeks ago and another positive test

I had a surgical abortion 4 weeks ago. I hid it from everyone, as I feel so ashamed. I used to take the combined pill, but this aggravated my migraines, so I was tracking my cycle and abstaining from sex or using condoms when ovulating. However, I became ill and I think this affected my cycle, because I found myself pregnant. As soon as I was late I knew. I felt different in myself and then started exhibiting pregnancy symptoms. I knew I was not ready, I'm 24 and start my PGCE in Exeter in September which I've waited two years to get on. My mother died 2 years ago and that sent me into a spiral and I couldn't motivate myself to be organised until now. I went to the clinic alone and still told no-one, because I knew they'd be disappointed and judge me. My boyfriend is a Christian and would suffer an awful lot of turmoil so I wanted to spare him the pain.

I feel awful and when I'm alone I just sob.

I am now terrified because I've been feeling strange the past few days, and took a pregnancy test this morning which was positive. HCG levels normally drop around 2-3 weeks, as I was 7 weeks when I had the termination. The day after the termination I started taking the mini-pill as I NEVER wanted to have to go through an abortion again, but I may now be pregnant again though I've been entirely responsible about birth control since having to terminate my pregnancy. I have an appointment Tuesday morning and I have a feeling it's going to be a new pregnancy not anything residual from the last which would be devasting..I'm really panicking.

Editor's Comment

I am sorry you have been through such a difficult time and so hard to be carrying such a big secret alone. It's possible that the abortion was not successful, there was a twin pregnancy, or your contraception has failed. Whatever has happened you are facing more investigation and then another possible decision. I would encourage you to get some support. You could log onto Online advisor or there is a pregnancy centre in Exeter with trained advisors who would be able to support you confidentially. for unplanned pregnancy support.
This story was sent in on 15/07/2012 and it's been viewed 838 times.

Read more abortion stories

A regretted surgical abortion

Previous

I'm 17 and had an abortion on the 22nd of May.

Next

Help & support is available

If you're struggling through a situation like that described above, or are being affected by similar issues from your past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

You can get free, sensitive & confidential help at a centre near you. Use these links for:

Got a story to tell?

Relating your story to other people can be very difficult but rewarding.

If you'd like to tell other readers, possibly facing the same problems you did, about your experiences please click the button to:

Tell your story →