An abortion 4 weeks ago and another positive test

I had a surgical abortion 4 weeks ago. I hid it from everyone, as I feel so ashamed. I used to take the combined pill, but this aggravated my migraines, so I was tracking my cycle and abstaining from sex or using condoms when ovulating. However, I became ill and I think this affected my cycle, because I found myself pregnant. As soon as I was late I knew. I felt different in myself and then started exhibiting pregnancy symptoms. I knew I was not ready, I'm 24 and start my PGCE in Exeter in September which I've waited two years to get on. My mother died 2 years ago and that sent me into a spiral and I couldn't motivate myself to be organised until now. I went to the clinic alone and still told no-one, because I knew they'd be disappointed and judge me. My boyfriend is a Christian and would suffer an awful lot of turmoil so I wanted to spare him the pain.

I feel awful and when I'm alone I just sob.

I am now terrified because I've been feeling strange the past few days, and took a pregnancy test this morning which was positive. HCG levels normally drop around 2-3 weeks, as I was 7 weeks when I had the termination. The day after the termination I started taking the mini-pill as I NEVER wanted to have to go through an abortion again, but I may now be pregnant again though I've been entirely responsible about birth control since having to terminate my pregnancy. I have an appointment Tuesday morning and I have a feeling it's going to be a new pregnancy not anything residual from the last which would be devasting..I'm really panicking.

Editor's Comment

I am sorry you have been through such a difficult time and so hard to be carrying such a big secret alone. It's possible that the abortion was not successful, there was a twin pregnancy, or your contraception has failed. Whatever has happened you are facing more investigation and then another possible decision. I would encourage you to get some support. You could log onto Online advisor or there is a pregnancy centre in Exeter with trained advisors who would be able to support you confidentially. for unplanned pregnancy support.
This story was sent in on 15/07/2012

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