I am 17 and I had a abortion Thursday July 19th 2012

I am 17 and I had an abortion Thursday July 19th 2012
I got pregnant when I was still 16. Me and my boyfriend have been together a year and 4 months now.
I first found out I was pregnant a week after my missed period in April. I was about 6 weeks. Since then I had no idea what I was going to do.
My boyfriend told me we have to get an abortion, we can't look after a child, we're not ready, it will ruin everything, I guess it just didn't sink in, I left it and left it just trying not to think about it everyday.
Eventually telling my boyfriend that I had had it done already. He soon realised and this made everything a lot worse. We argued non-stop throughout when I was pregnant, he would not speak to me and I'd be depressed every night crying.
My boyfriend is clever, he knows when I lie, and I know lying about it was stupid, but he wasn't there for me! I felt like I had no one. At first he didn't seem at all interested and didn't want to even go with me to sort it out.
I lied a second time to him telling him it was sorted, and this was when he actually came with me, and met me afterwards. He realised again and I told him straight, I am scared.. I love kids, ive always loved em, I've always told myself I'm never going to get myself into this situation.

I never thought it would happen to me.

When me and my boyfriend finally agreed to get this sorted, I soon realised that I would have to make my mind up quick, as I was 15 weeks & 3 days pregnant, and I even had a bit of a bump, which made it much worse.
Me and my boyfriend were in the centre for about 6-7 hours.

I had a surgical abortion and the pain was horrible.

I had to take a pill before having the abortion and I had to sit for 2 hours in pain. After that I was taken in, given an anaesthetic and knocked out. When I woke up I was crying and I had no idea where I was. The stuff makes you so dizzy and unaware of anything!
After a few minutes it started to kick in and I knew what was going on.. Me and my boyfriend then left shortly afterwards. And guess what? 3 days later? HE DOESN'T BELIEVE I'VE HAD IT DONE! I'm not sure how much more I could prove to him?
I am bleeding and was in terrible pain when leaving there. I had a plaster on my inside arm where I had a needle there. And I had been given pills to take after the treatment.
I can understand why he thinks I may of lied again because of before, but this time it's impossible!

In all honesty, having an abortion isn't really what I wanted, and in a way I was pressured into it.

No one should ever be pressured into nothing! I will never forget this, it will be really hard to get over and will take a while to forget about. It's only been 3 days, and I think about it all the time, I try not to but its hard. The worse part is that the baby would have been due in the same month as my boyfriend's birthday. On that 5th or 6th of January when the baby would have been born, I will be most upset. It is hard, the physical and emotional pain afterwards. It is something that will stay with me forever.

Editor's Comment

I think your lies about having the abortion when you hadn't point to your reluctance to go through with it. Perhaps you hoped that by the time your boyfriend realised it would be too late. It does sound as though your boyfriend was pushing you towards abortion because he believed it would 'ruin everything'. You may need some help to work through the physical and emotional pain you have experienced before you can move on. Please contact CareConfidential if you would like to get some post abortion help and support.You can call the national helpline 0300 4000 999, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.
This story was sent in on 21/07/2012

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