Having an abortion isn't what I wanted, in a way, I was pressured into it

By anonymous on 21/07/2012
united kingdom abortion 15 weeks

I am 17 and I had an abortion in July 2012. I got pregnant when I was still 16. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 4 months now.

I first found out I was pregnant a week after my missed period in April. I was about 6 weeks. Since then I had no idea what I was going to do. My boyfriend told me we have to get an abortion, we can't look after a child, we're not ready, it will ruin everything.

[For similar stories you can find links, organised by various aspects of abortion e.g. abortion type, provider, weeks of pregnancy, on this page.]

I guess it just didn't sink in, I left it and left it just trying not to think about it every day. Eventually telling my boyfriend that I had had it done already. He soon realised and this made everything a lot worse. We argued non-stop throughout when I was pregnant, he would not speak to me and I'd be depressed every night crying.

My boyfriend is clever, he knows when I lie, and I know lying about it was stupid, but he wasn't there for me! I felt like I had no one. At first, he didn't seem at all interested and didn't want to even go with me to sort it out.

I lied a second time to him telling him it was sorted, and this was when he actually came with me and met me afterwards. He realised again and I told him straight, I am scared. I love kids, I've always loved kids, I've always told myself I'm never going to get myself into this situation.

I never thought it would happen to me

When my boyfriend and I finally agreed to get this sorted, I soon realised that I would have to make my mind up quickly, as I was 15 weeks & 3 days pregnant, I even had a bit of a bump which made it much worse. We were in the centre for about 6-7 hours.

I had a surgical abortion and the pain was horrible

I had to take a pill before having the surgical abortion[1] and I had to sit for 2 hours in pain. After that, I was taken in, given an anaesthetic and knocked out. When I woke up I was crying and I had no idea where I was. The stuff makes you so dizzy and unaware of anything!

After a few minutes, it started to kick in and I knew what was going on... My boyfriend and I then left shortly afterwards. And guess what? 3 days later? HE DOESN'T BELIEVE I'VE HAD IT DONE! I'm not sure how much more I could prove to him?

I am bleeding and was in terrible pain when leaving there. I had a plaster on my inside arm where I had a needle there. And I had been given pills to take after the treatment. I can understand why he thinks I may have lied again because of before, but this time it's impossible!

In all honesty, I was pressured into an abortion

In all honesty, having an abortion isn't really what I wanted, and in a way, I was pressured into it. No one should ever be pressured into anything! I will never forget this, it will be really hard to get over and will take a while to forget about. It's only been 3 days, and I think about it all the time, I try not to but it's hard.

The worst part is that the baby would have been due in the same month as my boyfriend's birthday. On the 5th or 6th of January when the baby would have been born, I will be most upset. It is hard, the physical and emotional pain afterwards. It is something that will stay with me forever.

Terms mentioned in this story

Please note, sources will open in a new tab/window and take you away from the Pregnancy Choices Directory website.

  1. Surgical Abortion

    Surgical abortion is a medical procedure to remove the pregnancy from the womb.

    There are three ways in which a woman may undergo the procedure: 
    Local anaesthetic (awake but things are numbed)
    Conscious sedation (awake but relaxed due to having been given a sedative)
    General anaesthetic (completely asleep).

    There are also two methods of carrying out a surgical abortion depending on the stage of pregnancy:
    Vacuum or suction aspiration where a tube is inserted through the entrance to the womb (the cervix) and on into the womb. The pregnancy is then removed through the tube using suction.
    Dilation and evacuation (D&E) where special instruments called forceps are inserted through the cervix and into the womb to remove the pregnancy.


Editor's comment

I think your lies about having the abortion when you hadn't point to your reluctance to go through with it. Perhaps you hoped that by the time your boyfriend realised it would be too late. It does sound as though your boyfriend was pushing you towards abortion because he believed it would 'ruin everything'. You may need some help to work through the physical and emotional pain you have experienced before you can move on. Please follow this link to find your nearest post-abortion support.

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