I had a surgical abortion 4 days ago
I've been with my partner for 2 1/2 years but had just recently decided we needed to take a break from one another which is when I found out I was pregnant.
My first reaction was shock and that I couldn't possibly go through with it as there were too many insecurities at play. I already have 2 children as does he.
Within 10 days of finding out I was pregnant I had an appt for a consultation and termination at bpas. For those 10 days I felt terribly nauseous and ill and couldn't wait for it to be over so I could feel 'normal' again.
I went in on Monday and was there all day for my consultation and procedure.
I have so many regrets....I wish someone had told me the kinds of feelings I may experience afterwards....I wish I'd had the termination on another day to give me time to think it over.
Ultimately I am devastated by my decision and would do anything to turn back the clock. I want my baby back and can't stop crying.
My 2 kids don't know what's wrong with me and must surely be worried.
I can't believe I'm the kind of person who could have done such a thing, I can't even look at myself in the mirror.
I don't think I will ever forgive myself for what I have done, and I will certainly never forget every moment of that dreadful day.
I hope one day I may find peace, but right now, my heart is broken and I would never have done it, had I any idea of how I feel now.