Our baby tested positive for Downs...By anonymous on 18/07/2007
Since my teenage years I have known that I have had a chromosome disorder that would affect my chances of conceiving a normal healthy baby. Last year my partner and I discovered I was pregnant with our 2nd baby. We were overjoyed - it was a baby we both wanted and with 1 daughter already it seemed perfect. However we knew that we wanted the baby tested for Downs just like we had done with our daughter and we were very upset to find out the result was positive. We had discussed before the test what we would do in such a situation and had already decided that we were going to have the pregnancy terminated. Even though I had gone through a very similar set of circumstances a few years previous with an ex partner it did not make the situation any easier to deal with. In fact it made it harder. All the previous emotions of guilt and pain came flooding back - but still we went through with the decision. The day came to go into hospital for the op which all went as well as could be expected and then you are discharged and simply left to get on with it. The grief and guilt that I hold for both my aborted babies will always be with me, but this is where I luckily was put in contact with Alternatives (Care Confidential). Going through a confidential counselling course with Alternatives has turned my life around. I have learnt to deal with each and every emotion that I have experienced through the grieving process for my babies, and now I feel I can live my life fully and draw positives from what has happened to me in the past. I believe that I would not have been able to do this on my own without the support that I have been so lucky to receive from Alternatives. For anyone going through the painful decision of whether or not to abort their pregnancy I cannot recommend this service enough. For me it has offered an invaluable road to recovery. A year on and I am now pregnant again with a healthy baby boy. Although I will never forget the babies I have lost it is because of Alternatives that I have been able to move on with my life and gain the strength to go on and conceive again. To my counsellor and Alternatives....Thank you so much!
Editor’s note: Thank you very much for sharing your story. It is very encouraging to hear what a difference the help from the centre has made to your recovery, and I hope that others reading this who are experiencing difficulties might also approach their local centre to talk through their situation. It is wonderful when sadness can be turned around to enjoyment of life again, and I am delighted to hear that all is going well with you and your pregnancy. Congratulations for having the courage to work through the past to be set free for the future. I wish you all the very best.