It's been 6 months but even now I'm depressed after having an abortion.

By anonymous on 24/05/2013
It's been 6 months but even now I'm depressed after having an abortion. I was with my boyfriend for 6 years.

I was 14 weeks pregnant and had a surgical abortion. I went through it alone. No one knew except my boyfriend. He wanted to keep the baby but I couldn't because I was too afraid that my family would have disowned me as I was not married to him.

I had no idea I was pregnant for 12 weeks, and worse I had seen the baby on the scanner as I thought I had kidney stones.

I always wanted a baby and get married.

I feel depressed all the time.

I keep contacting my boyfriend but he doesn't want anything to do with me because of what I did. No one else knows about it. I always imagined my future with him but he has financial issues and has got family problems too.

I want to overcome this sadness. Everyday I think about what I could've had and how I destroyed the chances of having a baby. I keep contacting him and don't want to because I have been hurt and alone for months.

Editor's Comment

It must be very hard for you to lose this long term relationship, as well as regretting the abortion. It sounds as though your fear of your family's reaction pushed you towards abortion without really thinking about the consequences. After 6 months I think you would be helped by some post abortion counselling if you are still feeling sad and depressed.
You can find this service through the Careconfidential website and I would encourage you to take that first step to get some help. You can call the national helpline, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.

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