I did 4 tests but when they all showed positive I knew it was real.

I would like to share my story to help other women deal with the process of abortion and what to expect.
I am 19 years old and I am in my second year of university. My parents are divorced and I have one brother who is 16 and 2 half sisters who are 4 and 1, all 3 of whom I adore. I love kids, especially babies and toddlers and have always said I am too afraid to have my own children, so when I found out I was pregnant I really didn't know what to do.
My periods have always been irregular, so being a day or two late wouldn't startle me. However, this time something in my mind made me do a pregnancy test. I actually did four tests. Just to make sure, and as soon as all of them shown positive I knew it was real.

I was in no position to have a baby

I am a full time student and have my whole life ahead of me. Why would I have a baby now? My own mother was just 16 when she fell pregnant with me, and had 2 children and married by the time she was 21. But that is all she ever wanted. Her wish was to have children first and then focus on herself. I look at my mum and I am so proud of her, she is a very successful business woman and has always put others before herself. I thought we were like a clone of each other, however, I could not have had this baby. I am in a relationship, there was only one possible father but I wasn't ready.
The next day I called the family planning clinic. I was unable to see my own GP as university is 2 hours away from home, so I was referred to the hospital by the sexual health nurse. In the family planning clinic, the nurse explained the whole procedure to me and made sure I was making my own decision. I was then referred to the abortion clinic within the local hospital. On my first appointment I met a lovely nurse who assured me everything was confidential and safe. She told me I was 5 and a half weeks pregnant. I had to sign a lot of paperwork and have my bloods taken. This was the worst part for me as I am absolutely terrified of needles, however, it was nothing to worry about at all. After I was given the first pill of the procedure and left, due to return 48 hours later.
On the day I took the first pill I suffered no pain or discomfort at all. However, on the second night, the night before I was due at the hospital for the 2nd part of the procedure, I began to experience some minor cramps which felt exactly like period pains, and began to bleed. I bled quite significant amount and passed a number of blood clots. By 8am the next morning, I had passed a skin coloured bubble like clot, which I believe was the pregnancy. At 10am, I was back in the hospital having the second part of the procedure. I was still bleeding at this point. 4 tablets were inserted into my vagina and I had to lie flat for half an hour. After that half an hour I was given painkillers, of which I took two before I had any pains or cramps and set off home.
I read a lot of stories prior to my own abortion and many women have suffered with awful cramps, however, I did not. So it is important not to worry yourself over somebody else's story, every single woman is different. I will return to the hospital next week for a further blood test to confirm that the pregnancy has passed. At the moment, this is the right thing to do.

Editor's Comment

Your story is a little different from many posted on this website, but the clinic or hospital do say that sometimes you will bleed after the first tablet and occasionally pass the pregnancy. I hope you are recovering well, and if you need any support it is available.You can call the national helpline, log on to Online advisor, or follow the link to find a centre for post abortion support in your area.

This story was sent in on 09/10/2013

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