I had a surgical abortion 3 days agoBy anonymous on 21/01/2014
I had a surgical abortion 3 days ago at about 7-8 weeks pregnant. Prior to choosing to have the abortion, I spent all day every day just thinking about being pregnant, exploring my options and learning about foetal development and abortion. A little bit about me-I'm 21 years old, not attending college or university and currently "between jobs" (basically the recipe for a deadbeat aha) I have quite a few nephews and a niece that I adore. I never seriously thought about having children. It was boxing day when I took that unholy little test...and another one. One of the lines on the first test was slightly faded so I was pretty convinced it couldn't possibly be positive. I had all the obvious symptoms-strange cravings, back pain, cramps...a late period. But there was no way in hell I was going to accept that I had a little pre-human squatting my uterus. I would like to lie and say that I was being the responsible adult that I am and using all the necessary protection but that simply wasn't the case. I had been casually dating the father of this little blessing for just a few months. We decided to have sex without any sort of protection in the heat of the moment. Fast forward a month and there I am, having an emotional meltdown while he's on vacation with his family for Christmas. Our relationship had been a bit rocky due to a couple unfortunate events throughout the previous month but things seemed to be going a lot better, we made plans to hangout as soon as he got back. Little did he know I was about to drop a little "guess what, I'm preggo" bomb on his ass. He took it surprisingly well, and was pretty supportive of my immediate reaction to have an abortion. As time went on, I started to become attached to the idea that maybe I could make motherhood work. After all, my mother was a young mother as is my younger sister. I started researching potential adoption parents and fell in love with two different couples. During this time I had already made an appointment at my local woman's clinic to have the abortion. I kept going back and forth between options. The father was very opposed to adoption or potentially keeping it. I never told my parents (my mother is very "pro-life") but spilled the beans to a couple of my sisters. They were supportive of whatever I chose, but in their hearts they wanted me to keep the baby. I felt so torn and guilty. Even early on in the pregnancy I was ridiculously sick and fatigued, my boobs hurt constantly and emotionally I was an absolute mess. I had to cancel more than one job interview because my "morning" sickness was so bad. I had dreams of having my baby and not being able to keep it safe, losing it etc. I would wake up with my hands on my uterus and just cry. I actually don't think I've cried more in my life than I have in this past month.