At 19 years I was forced to have an abortion
By anonymous on 23/06/2014At 19 years I was forced to have an abortion because of the "bad" name my family would get if I gave birth to a baby without even getting married.
The baby's father was a guy who I had slept with about four times. He didn't accept the baby and soon got married to his childhood lover. I wasn't in love with him, but I was heart broken that I was all on my own.
I met my current boyfriend, who lived on an island about 8 hrs from where I lived, while I was pregnant and he didn't mind the baby at all. but it mattered to me. I kept thinking, how would a guy love a baby that's not even his? would he accept it happily? Would our marriage work with a baby that's not his?
I thought about all these and ended up thinking our marriage wouldn't work.
On the other hand I received no support from my family. My parents wouldn't talk to me at all. All I had was my two younger sisters' support, who were as excited as I was. At the time I decided to keep the baby and went to a clinic and got myself scanned. I was four months at the time and was super excited as I saw my baby for the first time. I went home to show it to my mum. She didn't even look at the scan photos. Of course I was heartbroken.
During the four months of my pregnancy I would cry everyday.
I finally decided what I would do and what would be better for my baby. I went for an abortion. Of course I couldn't look after a baby without it's dad, and without my family's support. And besides, I had no job. How would I raise my baby? How would I educate it? The best thing I could do was to go on with abortion. And there I was, a few day later, at an abortion clinic. I was all alone and scared there, in labour. I couldn't explain the pain I went through. The nurses didn't really care. When I told them I was in pain, all they said was "you're in labour". I kept crying but nobody came.
When my baby finally came, I found out it was a boy. A baby boy! I always wanted a boy at first! I obviously couldn't put him back into my womb now.
Here I am now, moving on with my boyfriend. Happy. Yet the guilt I feel, I can't explain. I went through an abortion. I'm looking forward to getting married to my boyfriend and having a baby soon.