We both agreed that an abortion was best.

In 2003 I fell pregnant with my partner at the time. I was 21 and I knew before I even took the pregnancy test that I was pregnant. I just had a feeling inside me. I told a friend I thought I was pregnant and went to her house to do the test, and it was positive. I then went to work not knowing what to do, so spoke to my boss and also my partner. After a long discussion with my partner we both agreed that an abortion was best, and went and booked a Dr appointment and also told my boss what the plan was so I could get all the necessary time off required. I went to the Dr and they referred me to the hospital to see the nurses. I got weighed, height taken and also got a scan. Was asked if I was sure an abortion was the right thing for us to do and said yes. I was sure at the time it was right and was given 2 appointments one for the Monday and the next for the Wednesday. On the Monday I went through and was given a tablet and sent on my way. Once I had taken it I had a moment of relief as I walked out the hospital. The Wednesday morning came and I went through to the appointment on my own as my partner was held up at work and couldn't make it. I was devastated that no one was going to be there for me. I cried all the way to the hospital and in the end managed to get hold of my friend who got her mum to come to the hospital later in the day to collect me. At the hospital the nurse inserted a couple tablets inside my vagina and that was the beginning. Around 30 minutes later I started being sick, felt like I was never going to stop. The nurse ended up giving me a injection to stop the sickness, but the feeling of being sick never left me. Then a hour or so later I got the worst cramps I have ever had, they were unbearable. I could hardly walk to the toilet. I passed blood in the bowls for what felt like a lifetime until the time came, and I passed the baby. Instantly I knew it was the baby as I felt it slip out. I felt so ashamed I couldn't look at the bowl. I quickly covered the bowl up with a paper towel so I couldn't see anything. Rang the bell so they could take him away and I cried and cried. There was no feeling in the world for how I felt that day, and just wanted someone with me to give me a cuddle. My friends mum came a hour or so later and she gave me the biggest hug of my life and I felt about 3 again. Again I cried but knew what had just happened was the right thing to do. She took me back to her house and I stayed there for a hours, I didn't want to leave and go back to my life. Everything felt so different in her house but I had to go home at some point. My partner phoned me and we had the biggest fight, said things we should have and that day I lost 2 people in my life. I just couldn't believe what had happened. The following day I went out, got drunk and that began the next step in my life.

Editor's Comment

It must have been very hard to go through this experience alone. Please get in contact with CareConfidential for some post abortion support. for post abortion support.

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