I am 19 years old and got a medical abortion at 10 weeks.

My boyfriend is 21 and we are both still in college but have no idea about our future careers. When I first missed my period I wasn't too afraid because I have always had a irregular cycle. When the third month came around I started to realize that I might be pregnant. I have never puked so much in my life. So I took the test and I was positive. I was so afraid because my family would be disappointed and extremely angry. My boyfriend was supportive of my decision but deep inside I knew he wanted to keep it but we're not financially stable. We both had no job and lived with our parents. So I decided to get the abortion done in secret. It was such a horrible process. I was already too far along for a pill and abortion clinics were only offered through referrals and a far away drive. I went through the whole process of paper work and blood tests. Then the second visit, which was the procedure. I was extremely nervous and scarred. They put me on mild sedation and the pain was horrible. I felt a huge cramp for a couple minutes when the doctor inserted the suction machine. I was so light headed I barely could walk straight. After the procedure the sickness and depression I had felt for the past 3 months were gone. I felt relief that it was finally over yet sadness that I had given up a life. It has been about 3 weeks after my procedure and I never regret my decision. I know that in my heart I was not emotionally or financially ready for a child. I still feel like a child most days trying to juggle being a full time student and meeting expectations. As for my boyfriend he does not like to talk about it. He does listen and care for me always, but I feel like we have lost some communication with each other. I want whoever is reading this to know that safe sex is important! I cannot stress enough that you need to use a condom or birth control. I never want to go through what I did ever again. Even if you are embarrassed or think you're too young, you need to find some way to be protected with your partner. Talk about it with them because when it's too late, there is no going back. I will live with this decision for the rest of my life.

Editor's Comment

A difficult time for you and also not easy having a secret abortion and carrying that secret long term. I definitely agree with you about contraception as I know many people take risks and hope that they will get away with it. In the end you have to use contraception every time, and right from the start, and even then there is still a small failure rate! If you need any post abortion support please contact the abortion helpline 0300 4000 999, or Online advisor for post abortion support.
This story was sent in on 30/09/2014

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