I thought I was making the right choice.
I have not been well, depressed in my bed, I look sick I feel it. Sometimes It feels like I'm dying with the baby. When I initially went in I was too early to see anything on ultrasound scan and had to go back 10 days later. I took the first pill at 6 weeks 2 days. It was torture. No matter what I couldn't find any joy in this pregnancy. I thought I was making the right choice. Honestly I still feel that way, except I know right from wrong. I know I've done wrong. I killed my own baby.
I think in life we can be selfish, but I should have made the right choice. I know I could only love my baby. All we see is the here and now, the shame or embarrassment or whatever your reasons are, but our present is only temporary. The future does not hold the same. God will reward you for making the right choices, and bless you in your decision.
I'm a fool! Weak! Scared! I can't take back my choice now. Unless you're a cold hearted person without a care, abortion will not be the answer to solve your problem. Only creates another problem.
I will never be the same and always wonder what this child would have been like, looked like smiled and cried like!
If you want to know about me, I'm 32, I have 5 kids, 7,6,5,3,1 years old. I'm divorced and my ex husband is also the father of this baby I aborted.
My body is tired, I couldn't see myself pregnant alone, tired, moody, getting a new car to fit us. Bigger house to fit us. I was embarrassed people would talk about me, laugh at me for having another baby with him.
You see he cheated on me and has addictions so I divorced him . Oddly when you have 5 kids you raise alone you get lonely, he's all I knew. "Stupid" I know. I didn't want to be tied to him even more by having another baby. And most of all I didn't want to be alone.
Pregnancy should be special, it is, so be careful who you sleep with. I was also using a birth control :( so much for that right!
But all these fears and issues would not have mattered as I watched my kid be born, grow up.
When I'm an old lady who the heck cares about all that. I've got beautiful kids to raise etc.... Make your choice wisely because after you swallow that first pill you don't feel so sure any more. You feel like you just killed your own baby. Is it really worth it? Nope! You took a life for selfish feelings!
Editor's CommentYou are clearly struggling with the decision you have made and feeling a lot of regret.
The first pill that you take during a medical abortion is mifepristone and this blocks the hormone progesterone which normally maintains the pregnancy. The lining of the womb will start to breakdown and stop the pregnancy. I am not aware of any drug that can reverse this process and the medical information says that once the process is started it should be completed. Having said that there are stories of women who changed their mind and the pregnancy continued normally.
The important thing is to be sure of your decision before you take any drugs, and if you have any doubts, give yourself more time to think it through, and talk to someone who can give you impartial help and support.
Help is always available, for unplanned pregnancy support. and if you would like some psot abortion support to talk through you feelings please get in touch, for post abortion support.
This story was sent in on 15/11/2014