I had an abortion due to my boyfriend not wanting the baby.

I'm now 14 weeks pregnant I'm 19 and been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years last year I had an abortion due to my boyfriend not wanting the baby. Up until 20 weeks he wanted the child and I was so happy, but then he said I had get rid of I lose him and I couldn't bare to think of having a baby at 18 alone!
I love him and I did that for him.
The abortion was so painful, I had to go into labour and I was in labour for over 3 hours and my boyfriend wasn't allowed with me I had to do it all alone.
I rang him while I was in labour crying my eyes out I just wanted to hear him, but he hung up on me.
He wanted the abortion because he said and convinced me we would be so much better together but 2 weeks after my abortion he cheated on me. I was so hurt, I was still upset about my baby and he did that to me.
No one else knew about the baby so I had no one to talk to.
I am now pregnant again. I have been on the pill since I was 16 and I haven't missed a day so this is unplanned and he shows no emotion and I can't go through the abortion again. I didn't realise I was pregnant till 11 weeks I'm so scared he doesn't want me or the baby I don't know what to do. I want to tell my mum but I'm scared. I don't know how to tell her he doesn't want anyone finding out this baby is his so it's going to look like I've cheated on him and I don't know who the father is.
I want this baby but I want the baby's father with ME. I grew up without my dad in my life and I know my mum struggled I don't want the same. I asked him about adoption but he said no because people will know I'm pregnant :( I need some advice to try change his mind or what I should do please.

Editor's Comment

It is difficult that you are in the same position again, and your boyfriend is still not wanting to support you and accept his responsibility as the father of the baby. I think it would help you to talk your situation through with a pregnancy advisor, who would be able to look at all the options with you, and find a decision you are peaceful about. You can do this through Online advisor, for unplanned pregnancy support., or call the helpline 0300 4000 999.
This story was sent in on 02/12/2014

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