I feel I've been bullied into booking a termination

I am thirty years old with two daughters aged ten and eight. My husband has recently allowed his 17yr old cousin to stay permanently as she is a troubled teenager. This did not bother me at the time.

I have just found out I'm pregnant and my husband has told me he wants me to have a termination or he's leaving and taking my two daughters with him.

So I have booked my appointment to have my termination assessment and feel that I have been bullied into this situation.

I dearly love my husband and daughters and think this is one of the cruellest things he has ever made me do, especially after having two miscarriages previously and an ectopic pregnancy.

I cannot talk or look at him as I feel physically sick. Can I ever forgive this monster that I call a husband for doing this to me?

This story was sent in on 04/02/2008

Editor's comment

Thanks for writing in…

You seem to feel as if you have no choice in this situation, despite the strong feelings you have about a termination. I want to encourage you to believe that you do have a choice about your pregnancy, not just a choice about whether to forgive your husband for giving you this ultimatum.

You are at high risk of feeling negative emotions after a termination because you are not 100% about doing it, and this may contribute to difficulties in your relationship anyway.

It would be a good idea for you to talk with a trained advisor at your nearest centre as soon as possible about your situation.

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