I have just turned 18 and discovered I was pregnant

I have just turned 18 and discovered I was pregnant with my boyfriend 1 week ago.
I have arranged to have an abortion but I feel like I am forcing myself to have the abortion. I am ridden with guilt and feel sick knowing the fact that the baby inside me will die because of me.
I'm only 6 weeks but already feel attached.
I have chosen an abortion because the baby's father has no money to support a child and neither do I. In addition to this I come from a poor family and a single mum. I have therefore been working hard for the last 6 years trying to follow my dream of becoming a successful dancer and actress.
There is no way my dream can go on if I have a child. I feel like all my hard work would be for nothing. On the other hand I just feel so guilty and know that god will punish me for this.
I was naive and just didn't think I would get pregnant. I just don't know how I'm going to live with this for the rest of my life and I'm scared I will regret it.
I wish I was where I want to be so I could keep it! I just feel so bad and keep crying my eyes out constantly. I don't know what to do. I feel like I will be a murderer.

Editor's Comment

If you are feeling so uncertain about your decision, it would probably help you to think through your options with someone independent before you finally decide. Living with feelings of guilt and regret in the long-term is really hard to come to terms with, and could stop you from reaching your full potential.If you chose to continue the pregnancy and parent you may have to defer your career but not necessarily give up all together. It may also help you to explore childcare options that would allow you to pursue your career. Follow the link for unplanned pregnancy support. or call the helpline 0300 4000 999.
This story was sent in on 10/01/2015 and it's been viewed 48 times.

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