I've never really supported abortion.

I was 6 days late for my period, and beginning to feel nauseated at the taste of every kind of food I put into my mouth. I began to worry but I just hoped my period was coming late due to stress, but at this point I was in denial. I know my body very well, and once the nausea started, I knew I was pregnant. I'm 19 years old and a sophomore in college, I had no clue what to do. My boyfriend is 25, graduated and stable, but I figured he wouldn't want a child either. To my surprise when I told him, he was very calm and said he wanted to keep it. Despite my initial reaction, I decided that I too wanted to keep it since I've never really supported abortion. As time went on my pregnancy sickness became worse and worse. I couldn't go to class, I couldn't go to work, I couldn't eat or drink, barely sleep; it was becoming impossible for me to function. After almost making a trip to the hospital 3 times, we finally agreed that I was not at a point in my life where I could safely and healthily carry the pregnancy to full term. When I made the appointment with planned parenthood they were extremely helpful. My parents don't support abortion so I had to pay without insurance which came out to be 580. It was a lot but it needed to be done. I was scheduled for the following week. I was nervous but anxious. I wanted the baby and was so sad that my sickness had become some unbearable. Emotionally I was not prepared but physically I couldn't wait to be done. I went in on a Wednesday afternoon with my Bestfriend. Everyone at the clinic was very kind and gentle with me. I was called back to do some blood work and my ultrasound. I wanted to see it since I hadn't taken an actual pregnancy test. I was almost hoping they would say they didn't see it. Unfortunately throughout the process I had already gotten attached to the foetus and spoke to it occasionally. So for the women who are not emotionally okay with having the abortion I would not recommend viewing the ultrasound. I cried as soon as I saw the heart I didn't know it would have yet. I was 7 weeks and 4 days. The nurse was very understanding however and she told me I could get up whenever I felt ready. After the ultrasound I went to pay and waited for the doctor. She called me in about 10 minutes later and discussed the basics with me. We went over the procedure and discussed all of my concerns. She also gave my Bestfriend tips on how to care for me after I took the misoprostol and she gave me a free pack of birth control to start as soon as the pregnancy was over. I then took the first pill, mifeprex in her office. She sent me home with the 4 misoprostol pills along with 4 antibiotic pills to take the night before. I felt no changes after the mifeprex so do not worry, the medicine is working even if you don't feel anything. Later that night I took my antibiotics before bed. The next day around 4:30 I took my pain pills as instructed. I chose not to take the optional nausea medication because I wanted everything to come out if it needed to. At 5:00 I placed the misoprostol in my cheeks. I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and our current situation isn't ideal, we aren't financially stable and I've just started my dream career. My boyfriend immediately said that he didn't want to keep the baby because we aren't mentally and financially ready. I want a child that I provide everything for and at the minute, I can't do that. I cried a lot and went through every pro and con of the situation and its circumstance. This was even harder as I couldn't tell anybody, the only two people that knew were my boyfriend and my friend. for 35 minutes and then swallowed the rest along with 2 more pain pills. By then I was already feeling some slight cramping. By 6:00 I was cramping heavily but had little to no bleeding. I used a heating pad to ease the pain and found that laying in a foetal position helped a lot. I was extremely nauseated and threw up several times. Around 6:45 I went to the restroom and still had very little bleeding and the cramps were almost gone. I became concerned and called the emergency line. The nurse on call assured me that I would know for sure if it worked by tonight. As soon as we got off of the phone I began to bleed very heavily and the cramps returned. They came in waves but I was so focused on the bleeding that I barely noticed the pain. I got in the shower and sat down. The hot water seemed to speed up the process. Around 7:45 I passed the foetus. I could not help but feel terrible. Watching a life literally wash down the drain was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I then passed several large clots and continued to bleed for some time. I did not get up until 9:30. By then I was experiencing heavy bleeding, cramping and diarrhoea. I waited for the blood to lighten up a bit while sitting on the toilet for 15 minutes. I put on a pad and ate the most food I've eaten in weeks. The vomiting had left me feeling faint along with the blood loss. But in general it was nothing like I expected. I read stories of women enduring extreme pain, violent nausea, a fever, and fainting. I was extremely afraid however my experience was quite pleasant in comparison to those. The most difficult part to me was passing the foetus. Although the physical pain was not fun, the emotional pain was a lot greater. Follow your health care providers instructions and I'm sure you will not experience anything too bad. For emotional pain I wish I knew how to help. For any woman out there please be sure this is what you want. Once you start there is no stopping. Also be sure of the method. Yes the pill is a lot more private but you see everything as it's happening which is something I was certainly not prepared for. I opted for the pill because I've never been a big fan of surgical and I felt more in control. If I had to do it again I would choose the pill every time but seeing the foetus is definitely the most difficult part. It is now 5:30, more than 12 hours after beginning. I went to sleep around 10 and since then I have no cramps or nausea. I'm still bleeding which is expected. I'm ready for it to be over but I'm glad that I went through with it. It feels good to not be nauseated for the first time in a month. Overall I am satisfied with my decision. The emotional pain is something im going to have to deal with for a while but I trust it'll improve with time. Ladies be sure of your decision when you make it. Stay hydrated throughout the whole process and FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS. Your whole experience depends on it.
This story was sent in on 13/03/2015 and it's been viewed 87 times.

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