I'd recommend conscious sedation as there are few side effects and it just helps you get through it easier

Having children is something I've always wanted to do. You know when you feel like there's something you're meant to be in life? Being a mum was a top priority and ambition of mine as I am very maternal and have been since I can remember in my teenage years.

I have been with the same person for 4 years now, however, it began to get rocky July last year and we went a long time without speaking. We recently met up again and started seeing each other. He's the man I love and have done for years.

I found out I was pregnant 3 years ago when I was 20 and I had a miscarriage at around 7 weeks.

About a month ago I felt like something wasn't right and I was constantly feeling nauseous and craving foods I'd never normally eat. I'm on the pill so being pregnant seemed very unlikely however after taking several tests it confirmed I was pregnant.

I panicked and had loads of emotions and thoughts going through my mind on what to do especially after already going through a miscarriage.

I am 23 years old and undergoing my nursing degree in which I will be starting my final year this September. I live at home with my parents and me and my on/off partner have no money or room to bring a baby up.

My partner expressed how he didn't want another child right now (he already has a 6-year-old daughter). It just wasn't the right time, how would I give all I can to this baby if I'm not settled in a loving stable relationship with the support and money and time to bring him/her up and give them the best start in life.

I REALLY want a child but just 'cause I want one doesn't mean I should just make do and have one no matter what situation I was in. I don't believe in abortions and I had sleepless nights worrying over my desicion no matter what I chose.

After the painful and hard decision that took 3 weeks to decide, I decided to get a termination. When I have my own house, a loving/supportive partner, money, finished university and a career under my belt I will consider starting a family.

So my mind had been made up as much as I didn't want to have to go through with one. I rang BPAS, a well known abortion clinic and arranged a consultation.

They seemed very nice and in this visit, I had a scan and a chat about why I felt I wanted an abortion. I was around 9 weeks pregnant and so I then booked to have the surgical abortion with conscious sedation.

I was so nervous and worried about having this done I was going online and reading horror stories from other girls which made me feel worse.

Anyway once I was at the clinic for the day of the procedure (today) I was taken down to a room and asked to change into a gown and take of my clothes from the waist down. I was able to wear socks and keep my bra and top on. The gown was long and comfy and covered my whole body. I then sat there anxiously for a nurse to come and take me into the operating room.

After a wait of about 10 mins, the nurse got me and introduced me to the team who was in the operating room. The surgeon/doctor made me feel at ease and explained what he was going to do.

I laid on the bed and the doctor put a cannula in my arm which was painless. The nurse was holding my hand the whole time (there were two of them, one on either side of me).

Once the cannula was in I was given the sedation medicine and within a few seconds, I started to feel drousy and sleepy like I'd had too much to drink. It actually felt quite nice, in a weird way I felt really relaxed and didn't care about anything!

The procedure commenced and I can honestly say I hardly remember any of it, I don't remember feeling much, maybe a tug here and there but no pain and I was too drowsy and tired to really care or notice.

The nurses were by my side through the whole of the procedure holding my hand and talking to me, even though I was talking back my words were slurred and I just felt really chilled out.

The procedure was over with before I knew it, it felt like a few mins if that! I was amazed it was over with so quick.

I was wheel-chaired back into the recovery room where my mum came and sat with me. I was still really drowsy and needed help walking and I laid on the reclining chair with my eyes closed for about 20 mins because the sedation made me feel super tired. After the medicine wore off a bit I was able to go home.

I was there from start to finish for only 2 hours maybe even less. Everyone was so nice and it went so well and was pain-free, I was so happy with how it went!

I got home and slept all day until I woke up and had really bad cramps like severe period pains. I've taken pain-relief and a hot water bottle and it made me feel better. I only have small amounts of bleeding, no clots. It's just like a small period but I hope it stops tomorrow.

Overall I do not regret my decision as I know it was for the best for me and for the baby and I really couldn't stress anymore to anyone who's scared about the procedure to not to be at all!

I would recommend conscious sedation as there are no real side effects, it just helps you get through it easier without having to have anaesthetic and having to be completely put to sleep, which it did. It was as good as can be. Don't be scared, there's no pain apart from some cramps or period-like pains after as expected with any abortion.

Remember it's your descion to make, don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it, only you know what's best for you and your unborn baby. I hope my story helps any girl or woman considering surgical abortion with conscious sedation! It's probably the best option!

Take care and stay strong!

This story was sent in on 31/07/2015

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