I had a surgical abortion at 16 weeks 5 days
I wanted this baby and my boyfriend wanted our baby too. But so many things were keeping us from our baby and starting a family.
I found out when I was 8 weeks, had a scan on the 7th of July 2015 I was 11 weeks 4 days then I went away on holiday for a week. I had my first BPAS appointment 29th July when I was 14 weeks 5 days.
I was meant to go on the 4 of August to have the treatment but my boyfriend's car broke down the day before and now on the 12th of August at 16 weeks and 5 days I had my abortion.
I was going to leave before the anaesthetic, I wanted to leave but deep down I knew I had to do this for our baby, I started crying when the oxygen mask was put on. It was about an hour until I was able to move around I bled so my much.
I remember asking the nurse what sex my baby was and she said she didn't know but started talking about her son, I feel like it was a clue.
My boyfriend's sister is due on the 27th of January 2016, I was 5 days before. It's just sunk in that our baby isn't there, he or she's gone and now and I feel empty and so alone. It took 2 hours to get home and I stared into space the whole journey, I just want my baby back.
Rachel sent this story in on 12/08/2015