I called the hospital to ask was this normal after only the first tablet? by Alexandra

I have always been anti-abortion. Not generally, to each her own, but it’s a personal choice and I never ever would have imagined myself in this situation. For many reasons that I don’t want to discuss, I made the heartbreaking decision to end the pregnancy.

I attended my local hospital yesterday and took the first tablet, I felt slightly nauseous but other than that I was okay. I went home and rested for the remainder of the day torn by the decision I had made. I am due to go back tomorrow to complete the procedure, however, earlier this evening whilst out with my 5-year-old I felt a rush of blood and knew I had to get home.

I was panicking as I didn’t expect this to happen after the first pill, I had read there could be some light bleeding but this was incredibly heavy and coming through my jeans.

Once home I rushed to the toilet with a small Tupperware tub (I had already made the decision that when it happened, I was not going to let my baby go down the toilet, that seemed so wrong to me and I found comfort in the thought of burying it in my garden along with a little flower).

Once on the toilet, the blood was pouring from me and then I passed my baby, a huge clot with a visible sac and fetus. I sat on the floor in floods of tears, traumatised by what I was holding and wracked with guilt for what I have done.

I called the hospital to ask was this normal after only the first tablet? They said it can be, everybody is different. I’ve still got to go to my appointment in the morning and they’ve asked that I take the remains of the baby with me so they can check it out. I hope to god they don’t take it away from me?

I just wanted to share my story as I’ve never known this to happen to any woman after just one tablet. Also, I’ve not experienced any pain at all, just a huge amount of blood loss. I’m sorry for any other women who are going through a similar time. As guilty as you may feel, I’m sure you all have your reasons and just know that regardless of your choice it’s okay to grieve the loss of your little one.

Hugs x

Alexandra sent this story in on 25/01/2018

Other stories about abortion

A full hysterectomy with baby in womb after 2 failed abortions

I watched my little boys heart slowly stop…


I documented the experience - it's not AT ALL what I expected

I went to Planned Parenthood and took the 2nd set of pills at home…


Help & support is available

If you're struggling through a situation like that described above, or have been affected by similar issues in the past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

You can get free, sensitive & confidential help at a centre near you. Use these links for:

Got a story to tell?

Relating your story to other people can be difficult but can be very rewarding.

If you'd like to tell other readers, possibly facing the same problems you did, about your experiences please click the button to:

Tell your story →