I'm really struggling to cope day to day and my partner no longer knows how to comfort me

united kingdom abortion 7 weeks

I fell pregnant after being told by doctors it was more than likely I'd never have children as I was diagnosed with endometriosis after many years of undiagnosed pain.

Obviously, it was a shock to me and my partner when the second blue line appeared on the pregnancy test. When I saw the little blue line I had this overwhelming feeling come over me and there was no doubt in my mind that termination was my only option. I went to the family planning clinic that day and booked an abortion for two weeks time.

The next few days after it all settled in and when I had time to think about my definite decision of termination, it seemed to fill me with guilt. I spoke to my partner and even though I knew for our circumstances we had made the right decision, I still couldn't stop the guilt.

A week later I collapsed at home from intense pain, my partner rushed me to A&E and I was rushed into surgery with a suspected ectopic pregnancy... Luckily all was ok and I was discharged a few days later.

Once I had recovered from the surgery I rebooked for a termination. As I was only 7 weeks I could have a medical termination by taking tablets.

It was the most intense, awful experience ever and I don't think I'll ever forget that day. It was only three weeks ago but the amount of guilt I have is getting unbearable, I can't stand to be around babies, pregnant women, even adverts on the television.

I feel like I may have given up my only chance to have a baby. I am really struggling to cope day to day, my partner knows how I feel but no longer knows how to comfort me and he's upset about the situation in his own little way.

Does it get easier??

« I dread it: my surgical abortion was 3 years ago to the day

Maybe tomorrow I'll find the strength to let go…

I dread this day so much - 3 years ago I had a surgical abortion »

I tell myself each year I will bury it, and finally let go... but I don't…

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