I'm really struggling to cope day to day and my partner no longer knows how to comfort me

By Kate

I fell pregnant after being told by doctors it was more than likely I'd never have children as I was diagnosed with endometriosis after many years of undiagnosed pain.

Obviously, it was a shock to me and my partner when the second blue line appeared on the pregnancy test. When I saw the little blue line I had this overwhelming feeling come over me and there was no doubt in my mind that termination was my only option. I went to the family planning clinic that day and booked an abortion for two weeks time.

The next few days after it all settled in and when I had time to think about my definite decision of termination, it seemed to fill me with guilt. I spoke to my partner and even though I knew for our circumstances we had made the right decision, I still couldn't stop the guilt.

A week later I collapsed at home from intense pain, my partner rushed me to A&E and I was rushed into surgery with a suspected ectopic pregnancy... Luckily all was ok and I was discharged a few days later.

Once I had recovered from the surgery I rebooked for a termination. As I was only 7 weeks I could have a medical termination by taking tablets.

It was the most intense, awful experience ever and I don't think I'll ever forget that day. It was only three weeks ago but the amount of guilt I have is getting unbearable, I can't stand to be around babies, pregnant women, even adverts on the television.

I feel like I may have given up my only chance to have a baby. I am really struggling to cope day to day, my partner knows how I feel but no longer knows how to comfort me and he's upset about the situation in his own little way.

Does it get easier??

Kate sent this story in on 29/04/2015

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