Having the baby may push us apart but abortion will cause resentment

I had my first abortion a year ago. I and my boyfriend lived apart, I lived in a run-down area, in an unstable home and little income. I knew it would be so selfish to bring a baby into all of that.

It took me up until now to come to terms with it all. But now we have moved away and after living abroad for 5 months I’ve found out I’m pregnant again.

I’m devastated, this time around it’s not so easy. I love my new life in this country, I and my boyfriend have settled in great. But now I’m torn about what to do. I know I’ll have to move home, back to what I so desperately couldn’t wait to get away from.

My boyfriend thinks it would best to have an abortion but I'm terrified of the effect it might have on my mental health and I think this time around the regret will be unbearable to live with.

I have all this weird feeling of excitement about having a baby, being a mother, holding my baby, but then I know I’ll have to move home and that’s when darkness sets in.

I feel so lost and don’t know what I should do, I feel as though my boyfriend doesn’t understand the stress of it all mentally and physically.

I’m afraid if I have the baby it will push us away from each other and I think if I have an abortion I might resent him.

This story was sent in on 22/01/2019

Previous/next story

A surgical abortion under sedation at 13 weeks at Marie Stopes

Everyone was lovely from start to finish…


Previous story
I was bleeding for a week and a half after my surgical abortion

33 days after my surgical abortion I got my first period…


Next story

Most read stories about abortion

Free help & support

If you're struggling through a situation similar to this Abortion story, or have been affected by issues in the past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

Get free, sensitive & confidential help - find your nearest centre:

Tell your story

Telling your story to others can be difficult but rewarding and you may just help somebody going through the same thing:

Tell your story →

Story Categories

Click the following links to see stories in these categories: