All this just to make my life a little easier is so worth it

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I recently got with my boyfriend, I was with him for about 2 weeks when I noticed my period hadn't arrived. Before I got with my boyfriend I had another sexual partner (my bf is aware) so I realised I missed my period and I panicked, I was too afraid to buy a test as I didn't want it to confirm me being pregnant.

So, now it's the 12th June and It's been 6 weeks since my last period and I think ok maybe I should do a test... so I go to the shop and buy 2 really cheap tests... and do one when I get home and of course it comes out positive...

I let myself get all worked up and worried about it because this isn't what I wanted but I went to bed and tried to relax. I did the second test the next morning and again this came up instantly positive and I just broke down. I can't tell anybody because of how they'll react.

So I get myself to the doctors and beg for an appointment the same day which they manage to give me.... so here I am sat in the waiting room shaking and waiting anxiously to see the doctor hoping she would tell me it's not true and because I did cheap tests they could be wrong. But she didn't she confirmed my pregnancy.

There and then I told my doctor I wanted an abortion and I was certain this was what I wanted to do. She asked me if I was being pressured into this decision and I said no because nobody else knows yet, so she fills out the form to send off to the clinic.

She felt my tummy to try and work out whether I was still within the 9 weeks to have a medical abortion and she said she thinks I am but it would be better with a scan... so my form has been sent off and I've been told to wait until Monday for a phone call which I do...

So the abortion clinic phones me and ask me all kinds of questions which I answer, asking me if I'm certain about this decision and how far do I think I am. I thought I was almost 9 weeks but I wasn't sure so they book my appointment for 8 days from the day of the phonecall...

I was anxious for 8 days wondering what it would be like. After the phone call I went to see my managers and I broke down at work telling them what had happened and that I had this appointment for the following week.

I told my boyfriend too who was completely shocked, and upset that it wasn't his. I felt so guilty. My boyfriend asked for the day off work to come with me but his manager wouldn't let him have the day off so my manager ended up coming with me.

On abortion day, my appointment was at 11 am. I get to the clinic at 10:45 and am greeted by some lovely ladies who talked me through everything, they comforted me and offered me drinks, I only wanted water as I felt so sick. My manager waited in the waiting room and I was called into the nurse's office. A student nurse was there learning about the procedure.

The nurse had a lot of paperwork to fill in which I was trying to read. The nurse then told me I needed to have a scan so I went to another room where I met another nice lady who talked me through the whole procedure of how the scan worked. She sat me on the edge of this bed with my feet up on the chair and she had to put this probe right up inside me so she could have a look.

She found the foetus... but was unsure if there was only one or if there was 2 so she asked me to get dressed and wanted to do a tummy scan. I did that and then I lay on the bed so she could give me a tummy scan. She confirmed there was only one which I was happy to hear. I was unable to see or hear anything.

I was then sent back to the other room where I started off. I saw on the paper that they saw the foetus and its heartbeat, that made me really sad to have this abortion but I knew this was what I needed to do!

I found out I was only 7+2 weeks which was better than being almost 9! The nurse I was with had to fill out a lot of paperwork and I took an anti-sickness tablet because I felt really sick and nervous about what was going to happen.

After all the paperwork was completed I was asked to take 2 tablets, and a bit later I took one tablet which was to start the abortion happening. After a little while, I had to have 4 tablets placed inside me vaginally which the nurse did for me on the bed. I then had to put a pad on and get dressed.

The nurse explained to me there would be a lot of pain and bleeding and gave me an information sheet and my discharge letter and some pain relief medication to take home.

My manager then took me home at 1 pm where I went to bed and lay there until 4:30 when I started to feel a slight period-pain. I was grateful for this pain as I knew it had started, little did I know that it was going to get 100 times worse.

I couldn't move. I still hadn't started bleeding though and I was starving. I felt like I needed the toilet so I went and while I was there I started bleeding, at around 5 pm, and it was very heavy. Lots of blood clots came out and it was VERY painful.

I begged my boyfriend to come and pick me up so I could spend the evening with him. I begged him to take me to get some food so we went to McDonald's. I had my usual, I ate a couple of mouthfuls and had to run to the toilet.

I felt something pop inside me, lots of blood fell out and again it was very painful and I was absolutely screaming in pain in the toilet, my boyfriend had to come in and comfort me.

I went to the pharmacy to say the pain relief wasn't working and I was in agony and she told me to go to A&E which I did. I had a gynaecologist check me and cleared a lot of the blood clots out, I told her one of the tablets fell out and she said that's normal, so I didn't worry so much then.

I told her how much pain I was in and she said she couldn't see any problems and that I could go back home, and that I should keep taking my pain relief because it is helping even if I don't feel like it is. Then I was told they would phone me and ask how I am a few days later which they did.

3 days after my abortion and I'm in agony again, bleeding heavily again and literally want to cry, I've been advised not to do anything so I've just sat at home and cried and cried in pain, but all this just to make my life a little easier is so worth it.


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