The daily guilt I feel is unbearable.

I am now 35 and had an abortion when I was 19. I am very sorry I got pregnant but do not regret having the abortion as it was the right thing to do at the time and looking back, having had a child at 19 would have meant me leading a very different life to the one I lead now. I have lived many years in Spain and am now married over here. About 3 years ago my husband and I started trying for a baby. I didn't expect there to be any complications. After all, I knew I could get pregnant. After 2 years of trying we went to see a doctor. Cutting a long story short, after many tests on both sides, it turns out my fallopian tubes are blocked after an infection I picked up after having the abortion all those years ago. I know what has happened to me is not the norm but it did happen and I feel I should write my story. Thanks to my careless teenage ways, my husband and I are now having to go through the very stressful and trying process that is IVF as this is our only chance of ever having the baby we so wish for. The daily guilt I feel is unbearable. Editor’s note: Thank you for being so open about your experience of abortion and current difficulties in having a baby. We do hope there is good news for you in time. Are you getting all the support you need right now? What you said about feeling unbearable guilt is something that might be helpful for you to work through, so that it is less of a burden in this waiting time. You can use Online Advisor (if you register with the first 4 digits of a previously held British postcode) to talk with someone confidentially.
This story was sent in on 09/08/2006

Read more abortion stories

9 years on, I still think about it all the time


I found out I was pregnant...


Help & support is available

If you're struggling through a situation like that described above, or are being affected by similar issues from your past, no matter how long ago, help is available.

You can get free, sensitive & confidential help at a centre near you. Use these links for:

Got a story to tell?

Relating your story to other people can be very difficult but rewarding.

If you'd like to tell other readers, possibly facing the same problems you did, about your experiences please click the button to:

Tell your story →