After a termination, I’m the unlucky one. It didn’t work fully.

By anonymous on 06/11/2008
After a termination, I’m the unlucky one. It didn’t work fully. I've had six weeks of antibiotics until they did an internal scan - it wasn’t complete. I only had a medical abortion because I was told it would be ‘nothing’, ‘it's tiny’, ‘don't risk surgery’... I had to go through another termination. All those memories. The nurse hadn't inserted the tablets correctly so it didn't work. I’m having another scan tomorrow and surgery, the one thing I didn't want. If I'd known this from the start I would have had surgery. At least then I could have moved on with my life quicker.

I'm now going through three terminations for the same pregnancy. Anyone out there who is worried after a termination, go back to your doctor and keep going back until you’re happy it was complete. If I hadn't kept on, I could have seriously damaged myself. I promised myself I'd never go through this again. I'd never go back to that ward, never feel that pain again and now it’s been three times in eight weeks.

I don't regret choosing a medical abortion, as I wanted to see it wasn't a 'baby' which I thought would help me deal with it, but it was a baby, and surgery or a medical abortion won't change that. I just wish I'd had more information, more support from doctors and I wish I'd never made this mistake to begin with.

Editor’s note: Thank you for sharing your story with us…It sounds as if you’ve had a tough time both physically and emotionally after your abortion. Not only have you had to go through various procedures, but you’ve come to the conclusion that it was a baby, when you wanted proof that it wasn’t so that you could deal with the abortion more effectively. That’s a profound realisation and perhaps you feel that your ability to cope with the experience has been challenged. Once the physical aspects have come to a conclusion, you may feel you can give more attention to your heart and how you feel about what’s happened. If you would like to, you can contact your nearest centre and make an appointment for some post-abortion support.

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